van Page 138 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Somebody Just Give This Guy A Grill Endorsement Already
You knew, somehow, if Evander Holyfield just hung around long enough, waiting for someone to need a big name to highlight some sort of grueling pay-per-view spectacle, someone would give the 44-year-old former heart patient the opportunity to fight for another championship. (Or die trying. Seriously...
All Hail The '89 Turbo Mini-Van!
Paul Smith, 43, of Seneca, Illinois owns a 1989 Dodge Caravan with faux wood grain sides and 185,000 miles on the odometer. "So what," you say? Your ex-girlfriend's old man drove the same piece of junk. Fair. But did it house a turbocharged engine that got her up to 105 m.p.h. in 12.65? I didn't thi...
Who's the Next MLB Player To Bang Alyssa Milano?
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. Email him to let him know what you think.)...
Ruminations On Scott Van Pelt
So we've been receiving a little bit of blowback after our rather inexplicable appearance on ESPN Radio with Scott Van Pelt on Friday. Mainly, we think people wanted us to have some sort of Jon Stewart on "Crossfire" moment; during our brief appearance on the airwaves, we should have, apparently, go...
Evander Holyfield, Still Swinging Away
Holyfield's opponent last night, 41-year-old Lou Savarese, is described here as "durable." Normally a fine adjective, but when applied to a boxer, "durable" sort of means "gets punched in the head a lot." And that's what Evander Holyfield, 3 years older than Savarese, did to him last night....
WooHoo! We Have A Big Gold Cup!
On the strength of a ridiculously good volley off the foot of someone named Benny Feilhaber, the United States men's soccer team continued their ownership of Mexico today, winning 2-1 and bringing home the CONCACAF Gold Cup....
Cop Attacked, Bitten By Dolphin
I had never heard of Dolphins defensive tackle Fred Evans, but when a man tastes the Taser gun twice, and still manages to bite a cop ... well, that grabs your attention. From The Ledger, in Lakeland, Florida:...
Uh Oh, Canada Is Pissed
If you're like us, Thursday was Soccer Day at your house, as you refused to budge from in front of your TV while the U.S.-Canada match raged on. Also, you would only pass the dip with your feet. OK, we didn't watch a minute of it. But from what we understand, Canada thought it had the tying goal in ...
They Laugh At Us Because They Fear Us
American soccer is widely mocked around the world, and I had always assumed it was because we weren't very good at it. Not the case, according to this Steven Wells blog entry at Guardian Unlimited. He says the Brits mock us because they fear that we'll eventually beat their limey asses....
Baseball Fans Search For Loopholes On Billy Donovan Night
We are not here to mock you, Billy Donovan. Yes, you backed out of your $27.5 million deal to coach the Orlando Magic; but we feel your pain. Steve Spurrier feels your pain. Homer and Ned feel your pain. And the Fort Myers Miracle minor league baseball team, they ... well, OK, they're here to mock y...
What's Eating Gilbert Arenas?
No athlete — let alone NBA player — captured the attention of blogo-savvy fans over the past year like Gilbert Arenas. His personality and antics jibed with our sensibilities....
French Open: Whoever Wins, Ana Wins
You COULD be watching the French Open women's final this morning. Or you could simply watch this video clip of sultry photos of Ana "You Got Serbed" Ivanovic. For our convenience, I am doing both....
Finally, We Can Love Women's Tennis Once Again (Gurgle) ...
So what, we have freaking robot children now, but we can't invent a female tennis player who is both super smoking hot and amazingly talented? Well that's just a load of ... wait. Ana Ivanovic? Could it be true?...
The Enigma That Is Billy Donovan
Well, now that lawyers are involved, we can reclassify the Billy Donovan saga from curiously entertaining to officially ugly. We'd love to know the real reason that Donovan balked on his Orlando Magic contract a mere two days after signing it; did he discover the team's troubling history of unprovok...
Donovan, Beckham Each Politely Request A Mulligan
It's buyer's remorse day here at Who's Sorry Now, as Billy Donovan and David Beckham each ask the musical question: What exactly is the cooling off period for switching high-profile sports jobs? In Donovan's case, on Friday he decided to leave the Florida Gators to take the Orlando Magic job, then t...
Evander Holyfield Has Much Advice For Sage Rosenfels
"OK, now everybody listen up. The key to being a successful Houston Texan is to ... wait ... is HGH legal in football? No? Oh, well, don't worry: Take it anyway, you'll sit out four games, no one will care, it's the NFL. Anyway, what was I saying? Dancing. Yes. Dancing is ... you gotta ..."...
Gators Deal With The Loss Of Billy Boy
Now that Billy Donovan has officially left the Florida Gators for the Orlando Magic — and EDSBS has been quiet so far — we thought we'd ask the biggest Gators fan we knew, Dan Shanoff, to describe how he's feeling. Here are his words....
The Houston Rockets Are Buried In Sadness
Tracy McGrady assumed full responsibility for the outcome before Houston's series against Utah, then went out in Game 7 and did the Yeoman's work and still came up short. Then, in the postgame press conference, he couldn't run from the responsibility and ended up walking away in tears (thanks to The...