van Page 87 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Matt Bartkowski's Mom Is So Adorable
The Canucks’ moms are with the team on their two-game road trip (compare the happy picture above with this one of the Leafs’ dads), and everyone was having a good time in Vancouver’s 3-1 win at Colorado. No one more so than Beth Bartkowski, who saw her son score his first goal in more than three mon...

Motorized Doping, Explained: Your Guide To The Weirdest Sports Scandal Of The Year
This weekend, Femke Van den Driessche, a 19-year-old Belgian cyclocross racer, lined up at the U-23 World Championships. She’d previously won the Euros and the Belgian championships, and she was the favorite to get herself a set of rainbow stripes. But she had a bad race, and was forced to exit with...

Pro Cyclist Caught Using Illegal Motor In Bike
The cycling world has been abuzz with rumors that cyclists have been ‘moto-doping’ for years. Every few years, the UCI tests some bikes, riders get mad, and nobody gets caught. All told, it’s a pretty fantastical rumor that almost seemed too weird to be true. Cycling has been plagued by an ever-evol...

Here’s Landon Donovan’s Nipple And Also The <i>Game Of Thrones</i>-Ass Name He Picked For His Son
Hey, Landon Donovan has spawned!...

Just Three European NBA Players, Making Jokes And Burning Hassan Whiteside
Jazz center and large Frenchman Rudy Gobert sent a semi-hot, cryptic tweet two days ago:...

Giant Monster Dunks On Poor Sucker; Poor Sucker Laughs
San Antonio’s “sort of an odd thing” Boban Marjanović (pictured here) is 7-foot-3, very strong, and has hands the size of Manu Ginobili. What I am saying here is that one can only do so much to prevent him from catching and dunking basketballs. Sometimes he’s just gonna catch a basketball and dunk i...

Cristiano Ronaldo's Sister Wants To Exile The People Who Vandalized Her Brother's Statue To Syria
The enormous, bronze, big-dicked statue that stands in honor of Cristiano Ronaldo in his home town was vandalized Monday, as some rascals painted Lionel Messi’s name on its back. Ronaldo’s sister had some very, very, very strong words for the culprits....

The Canucks And Panthers Nearly Brawled After Their Game
Vancouver ended Florida’s 12-game winning streak with an OT goal by Daniel Sedin (off a feed from his twin brother Henrik), but the real action came after the final horn. It also featured, from Panthers TV guy Denis Potvin, one of the most inexplicable insults I’ve ever heard....

Cyclist Eats It Straight Into Barrier, Still Wins
This here’s Wout Van Aert, one of cyclocross’ biggest rising stars. He’s only 21, but he won the Belgian nationals today (cyclocross is to Belgium as, say, football is to America, so that’s a huge deal) and he took 2015's Superprestige competition....

Giovani Bernard And The "Unfortunate Hit" That Knocked Him Out And Enraged The Bengals
Tonight’s already tense Steelers-Bengals Wild Card game turned very ugly after Ryan Shazier knocked out Giovani Bernard and forced a fumble with a devastating hit delivered to Bernard’s skull. Brain damage apologists at CBS defended the play as legal and simply called the play “unfortunate,” because...

Sweet Life: A Van Man Shows You How To Dude It
Stephan Shay has de rigueur facial hair. He can be found in Southern California coffee shops, sometimes wearing a beanie. He’s tan. He’s fit. He wakes up to the sound of waves playing on southern California sand, and takes road trips up and down the coast....

Once Again, God Bless Evan Turner, Who Is Never Not Feeling Himself
It’s high time we checked in on Celtics guard Evan Turner, a perfectly mediocre basketball player whose self-absorption is so steadfast and unconvincing that it’s impossible not to find endearing....

Daniel Sedin's Teeth Go Flying
Early in last night’s 3-2 Coyotes win, Canucks forward Daniel Sedin took a batted puck directly to the mouth. Watch the replay at the 22-second mark (or don’t!); you can see a tooth make a leap for freedom....

Bucs' Mike Evans Ejected For "Disrespectfully Addressing An Official"
This NFL season has been a cornucopia of myriad interesting officiating calls, and Tampa Bay receiver Mike Evans decided to finish the regular season with dessert by getting ejected for disrespecting an official:...

David Moyes Sneaks Excuses For His Own Failure Into Comments Backing Louis van Gaal
When a team finds itself mired in a bog of bad results it can’t work its way out of, it’s perfectly common for illustrious figures from the club’s past to pop up offering words of support and encouragement to the current players and staff. What isn’t so common is a less-than-illustrious former manag...

Report: Buffalo Sabres' Evander Kane Under Investigation For A Sex Offense
According to a report from the Buffalo News, Buffalo Sabres winger Evander Kane is under investigation by the Buffalo police for an alleged “sex offense.” There’s not much more firm information than that at the moment. From the report:...

This New Year, Resolve To Ignore Abby Wambach's Bad Opinions
Last week, USWNT legend Abby Wambach played the final match of her career with the national team. This should have been time only for rapturous praise of her long and illustrious career, with everyone acknowledging everything she’s done for the sport as she rode off into the sunset (or whatever coun...

Pissed Off Louis van Gaal Demands Apology From Media, Storms Out Of Press Conference
Yesterday had to be an ... interesting experience for beleaguered Manchester United manager Louis van Gaal. At about this hour, Twitter exploded with rumors that he had been fired and that the club had already brought in José Mourinho as his replacement. What started as a prank soon snowballed as th...

Goku Doppelgänger Ivan Rakitić Is A Big Hit In Japan
Barcelona are currently in Japan for the Club World Cup, and though the locals had to be disappointed that neither Lionel Messi or Neymar were fit enough to make an appearance in the team’s first game, they discovered a new favorite player thanks to Ivan Rakitić’s halfway resemblance to Dragon Ball ...

Now I Can Die Happy Knowing Someone Pulled Off A Real-Life Rainbow Flick Goal
I don’t care that this was apparently scored in a charity match, which means Geuvânio’s rainbow flick goal was a little easier and a little less blatantly disrespectful than had it come in a competitive game. Because look at this. This is it. It is genius. The video:...