w Page 3706 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Hater’s Guide To The 2015 Oscars
Every year, the Oscars come along, and it becomes more evident that the Oscars are the worst live event on television. Other award shows are smart enough to jettison technical categories, get the nominees shitfaced, and encourage poor wardrobe choices. Meanwhile, these things are still as self-im...
Giant Shrieking Raven Occupies Levi's Stadium, All Is Lost
The entire Western seaboard is being evacuated today, after an NHL webcam captured what appears to be an enormous bird the size of a football field interrupting the rink construction for Saturday's Kings-Sharks game. It is too late for humanity; surely the black death shall devour us all. Should the...
These Beards Ought To Be Feared
Send stories, photos, and anything else you might have to [email protected]....
Golden Tate Wishes Russell Wilson Would Quash That Wife-Fucking Rumor
The rumor about former Seahawks wide receiver Golden Tate having boned down with Russell Wilson's then-wife is internet lore at this point, and it's something that Tate is probably going to be asked about for the rest of his life....
Danny Almonte On Jackie Robinson West: It's Not The Kids' Fault
For all the shock and controversy over Jackie Robinson West being stripped of its U.S. title for using out-of-district players, there has never been a better Little League scandal than that of Danny Almonte, the star pitcher who turned out to be two years older than any players were allowed to be. A...
A Lawsuit Threatens The Future Of The Court Of Arbitration For Sport
German Claudia Pechstein is the most successful speed skater ever. She won a medal in five consecutive Olympics from 1992 to 2006—nine medals overall, five of them gold—and might've made it six straight had she not been banned by the International Skating Union (ISU) for two years in 2009, for blood...
Jay Williams Misremembers Playing Duke-UNC Game Against Vince Carter
Jay Williams attempted to explain the experience of playing in a Duke-UNC rivalry game to ESPN's audience tonight, though in his attempt to name-drop some of the Tar Heels players he faced as a member of the Blue Devils, he mentioned Vince Carter—a player who was already in the NBA by the time Willi...
Random Twitter Dude Criticizes Colin Kaepernick, Gets The Business
Colin Kaepernick, who occasionally bookmarks mean tweets about him, went full blast on some random guy on Twitter today. The 49ers quarterback bragged about his productive day, and the man who didn't carefully read the tweet tried to burn him....
What's Up With This Adam Schefter Ballghazi Report? [Update]
In the middle of today's Outside The Lines, Adam Schefter broke in to report a new version of events in the Patriots' ball-deflation scandal: one league employee—his use of the word "official" is confusing here—at the AFC title game, who was later fired by the NFL, switched out a game ball with the ...
Mike Shanahan: RGIII Told Me Which Plays Were "Unacceptable"
Robert Griffin III received The Dreaded Vote Of Confidence™ from head coach Jay Gruden today, who declared that the embattled QB will be his No. 1 guy to start the season. Just saying, I don't see the Colts or Dolphins or Seahawks having to make announcements supporting their respective Class of 201...
The Qatar World Cup Will Be Held In The Winter
Bad news: the 2022 World Cup in Qatar is still happening, in Qatar. Worse news: the 2022 World Cup in Qatar will take place in November and December. ...
Your Computer Is Filthy. Why Won't You Clean It?
Jolie Kerr is a cleaning expert and advice columnist. She'll be here every week helping to answer your filthiest questions. Are you dirty? Check the Squalor Archive for assistance. Are you still dirty? Email her....
Frank Caliendo Reads A-Rod's Apology Letter In Morgan Freeman's Voice
I'm not even sure why this bit is funny to me, but I laughed the first time and now I'm laughing the second time. As long as Frank Caliendo keeps reading overwrought athlete letters in Morgan Freeman's voice, he's okay with me....
How Monopoly Helped Win World War II
In her book The Monopolists, Mary Pilon explores the secret origins of the game Monopoly, which begin with Lizzie Magie, a forgotten feminist who patented her Landlord's Game in 1904—not, as many think, a man during the Great Depression....
Work Hard, Blot: Lipstick And The Fifth-Fastest Indoor Mile Ever
Dammit people, put down the fatty and pay attention to women's middle distance track. U.S. women are killing it on a global scale. Take Shannon Rowbury, above: Already a two-time Olympian and lotta-time World Championship finalist, she broke from the gate this year and laid down a 4:22.66 mile at ...
Q&A: Nathan, A Bloodhound That Did Not Win The Westminster Dog Show
Another year, another February; another parade of dogs coming to a gray and bitter New York in hopes of winning the big ribbon at the Westminster Kennel Club dog show. Of all this year's upsets, few were as touching as the toppling of Flessner's International S'Cess, a handsome bloodhound from Mar...
This Big A-Rod Profile Might Actually Make You Feel Bad For A-Rod
J.R. Moehringer has a huge feature about Alex Rodriguez on ESPN.com today. It's a well-reported, in-depth look at everything Rodriguez has been up to since being banned from baseball for 162 games for using PEDs. There's a lot going on in the story, and you should really read the whole thing, but pe...
The Time A Dog Pooped In The Middle Of An Agility Contest
This video is from 2012 at Crufts, the world's largest dog show, and shows Libby the mixed breed attempting to complete an obstacle course. She does not. Just ahead of the weave poles, Libby pops a squat....