w Page 3707 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Middle School Basketball Team Loses In Heartbreaking Fashion
These eighth-graders learned a very important lesson yesterday: life isn't remotely fair. If you lose a game because of missing a game-winning shot, okay, but losing because the ball gets stuck on the rim, triggering a jump ball with 0.0 seconds left? That's just cruel. The kid lying on the floor ...
Report: Patriots Locker Room Attendant Gave Official "Unapproved" Ball
According to ESPN's Outside the Lines, a Patriots locker room attendant attempted to introduce an "unapproved" football into the AFC Championship game against the Colts:...
Screencap Classix: See You All In A Few Years
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Let's Cast The ESPN Movie!
Yesterday, James Andrew Miller, one of the co-authors of the ESPN oral history Those Guys Have All The Fun, announced on Twitter that a movie of the book is currently in the works, and that he's writing the script. We're hoping the script features some suit telling Keith Olbermann to turn in his b...
How To Suck Up To Your Terrible Boss
In the abyss of degradation that is the modern office, pretending to respect your boss is one of the more difficult tasks you might face. He or she controls your paycheck, dictates what hours you're chained to your desk, and calls pointless meetings just to hear his own voice with different acoust...
A-Rod Apologizes To Fans With Dopey Handwritten Letter
This is wonderful. Alex Rodriguez has released a handwritten(!) letter in which he apologizes to all of his fans for, uh, whatever it is we've all decided he needs to apologize for. This idea was surely thought up by some overpaid brand consultant. "Alex, our data shows that baseball fans associate ...
Goodbye To Old-Ass Jason Giambi, Who Refused To Go Down A Villain
Jason Giambi is retiring. At age 44, the slugger announced yesterday that his gradual disappearance from the game—one that began all the way back in 2009, when Giambi remade himself into a grizzled pinch-hitter and nominal player-coach—has reached its terminus. His career probably should have ende...
How To Talk To Girls On Twitter Without Coming Off Like A Creepy Rando
So, here you are, my friend, following a lot of brilliant women on Twitter (I hope). It's so fun, and the best part of Twitter is connecting with people, so you want to reply to some of her great tweets with your own great opinions and jokes! Cool, cool, but here are some things to keep in mind....
TV Host To Surfer Live On Air: "Stay The Fuck Away From My Girlfriend"
This happened last week on a music television show in Australia. That fellow who just got finished being interviewed is American surfer Kolohe Andino, who was in town for the Australian Open of surfing. The guy in the studio is named Danny Clayton, and he's here to prove that Australian TV hosts kee...
The Yankees Will Sell Their Past Until There's Nothing Left Of It
The Yankees announced yesterday that they will retire the numbers of Andy Pettitte, Jorge Posada, and Bernie Williams, and that all three—along with Willie Randolph—will receive plaques in Monument Park in four different ceremonies spread across the season. No American sports team has made such an...
Doug Baldwin Reveals Football-Pooping Celebration Was For Darrelle Revis
Doug Baldwin commemorated his Super Bowl lead-extending touchdown catch by pretending either to poop out the football, or on it. (It's not clear which, but no one saw it anyway; NBC's director cut away in time, warned by the voice of his vigilant dead mother. Thankfully, it was filmed from the stand...
West Virginia Knocks Off Kansas With Last Second Spin Move And Layup
Twenty third-ranked West Virginia knocked off eighth-ranked Kansas in Morgantown tonight, in a crazed ending that saw Juwan Staten pull off a nice spin move to get free for a layup, before Kansas missed their last second attempt. Just look at those West Virginians storm the court!...
Islanders Fan On TV: "My Son Was Conceived Back In That Parking Lot"
Tonight's Islanders broadcast featured an interview with an original season ticket holder—that's 42 seasons—and it's quite a doozy. I don't want to spoil it for anybody, so I'll just say the interview touches on sex in the Nassau Coliseum parking lot and an interesting pregnancy decision that may ha...
The Weather Outside Is Frightful
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Cool Dunks Look Even Cooler In Slow-Mo
There won't be any basketball until Thursday night (bad) because the NBA decided to give everybody a week long break (good) but without changing the start or end date of the season (dumb) so there are more back-to-backs and four-games-in-five-nights (very bad) this year....
Report: Eagles Turned Down Josh Gordon For Nick Foles In 2013
That's the word from ESPN's Eagles beat writer Phil Sheridan—formerly of the Inquirer—who says that Philly nixed the trade offered by Cleveland before the start of the season....
McFarland Cross Country: They Built It And Hollywood Came
Given how Hollywood likes to tart up the truth (see American Sniper, Frozen, et al.) you probably have a very good sense of what's going on with Disney's soon-to-be released McFarland USA. The Kevin Costner vehicle is based, as they say, on the true story of a boys' cross country team from McFarland...
Amar'e Stoudemire Wrote A Cute Goodbye Poem To New York
The Knicks and Amar'e Stoudemire have finally parted ways, bringing an end to what was supposed to be an era of fortune and glory. Amar'e may not have ever lived up to his contract from a production standpoint, but he was a great Knick, as further evidenced by how he said goodbye to the city....