w Page 4876 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Erotica Failed To Get Michael Morse Into The All-Star Game
Your morning roundup for July 8, the day Carl Monday struck fear into the hearts of the Steroid Cartels. Photo via tipster Kal....

Mike Holmgren Weighs In On The Santa Cruz Dog-Ban Issue
The 35-year-old ban on dogs in downtown Santa Cruz could come to an end next week. Dog owners have money, and the business owners want it. Asked a leading are-you-surprised-there's-a-ban question by KSBW's Phil Gomez, Mike Holmgren of Scotts Valley said, "I'm a little surprised. I didn't know that,...

A Fan Fell To His Death At Tonight's Rangers/A's Game
A firefighter watching the Rangers/A's game with his young son tonight asked Texas outfielder Josh Hamilton for a foul ball just hit by Oakland's Conor Jackson in the top of the second inning. He tumbled over the railing, fell about 20 feet onto a concrete level and was pronounced dead at the hospit...

Here's A Picture Of A Boob Getting Grabbed At Fenway
This photo comes from tipster Matthew M. who notes, "Jerry Remy and his broadcast partner lost their shit after the couples they were talking about got a little randy....

He Apologized For His Unacceptable Behavior!
"Hey everyone. I'm taking this time to apologize for my involvement with the post game riots after the Bruins defeated the Canucks to take the Stanley Cup. My involvement was a bad decision I made in the heat of the moment and it something that i feel a profound sense of regret towards. I would li...

Here's Your Commemorative Keepsake Poster Of The Sun Pornographically Manipulating A Thermometer
In consulting with the National Weather Service and American Red Cross, two USA Today graphic artists apparently found a way to illustrate the dangerous dog-days of summer as a sun blowing and tightly gripping a thermomedong....

Mork "Hunting Bait" Encino Appeared On A Chicago Country-Music Radio Station, Mmmhmm
Just one hour ago, Marco McGrath tweeted this message: "Someone get @morkencino a job already #overexposure." Maybe Marco McGrath should just come up with 10 grand and strap on some hunting boots, because Mork won't be overexposed until Friday at the earliest....

Red Wings Defenseman Mike Commodore Considering Jersey Number 64
Mike Commodore (@commie22 on Twitter) is not a particularly special hockey player. He's a -10 with 104 career points in 454 games, with a Stanley Cup and some great accompanying red beards. He just signed a one-year deal with the Red Wings....

The Yankees' Ticket Market Thinks Derek Jeter Is Ted Williams Or Something
It's pretty easy to estimate the number of hits a player will get over a small number of at-bats. For instance, any player batting between .125 and .375 obtains, to the nearest whole number, one hit in four AB. Walks complicate things, but not much. That's why, with Derek Jeter sitting three hits aw...

There's A New Shawn Kemp In Town, Seattle
Shawn Kemp, Jr. (not pictured), a 6'9" center from Canton, Georgia has signed with the Washington Huskies and has already started classes at the university. It's not the Sonics, but it is a Kemp. [ESPN]...

Curt Schilling: No Winning Team Was Steroid-Free, Not Even My Own
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Schill was aware of PED use, but he couldn't swear on it....

"Fiers De Vous Nourrir" Must Be French For "Look At This Giant Bike We Made Out Of Hay Bales"
Okay, it actually means that the farmers of 44 are "proud to feed you [and also they made a giant bike out of hay bales and tractors]." This display went up during a Tour de France stage earlier in the week, so we're a bit late — but we wanted to share it with you because it is a wonderful represe...

Watch A Hockey Referee Materialize Out Of Thin Air
This is from the 2009 Western Conference finals, and we have no idea why it just showed up on YouTube yesterday. But watch at the 0:07 mark, when linesman Brad Lazarowich enters the picture, seemingly out of nowhere. We've watched this about a billion times, and we think we've figured it out: it's...

Michael Jordan's High School Girlfriend Plans To Take Legal Action Over Love Letter
The adorable love letter Michael Jordan wrote to his high school sweetheart, Laquetta Robinson, is probably going to end up in a lawsuit. Ah, American love....

Qatar May Be Too Hot To Play Two Halves In World Cup Games
With all the Ts crossed, the Is dotted, and the money counted, FIFA is seemingly only now realizing that it gets really fucking hot in Qatar. That's bad for fans, and it's unsafe for players. But rather than take that into account before going to the desert, they'd rather mess with one of the game's...

For Once, Lionel Messi Makes Soccer Look Very, Very Difficult
Your morning roundup for July 7, the day we were promised the internets....

Versus Used A Blue Dong To Explain The Impact Of Headwinds On Cyclists
The Versus coverage team for Stage 5 of the Tour de France set out to describe the effects of the headwinds on lead riders in the peloton today. Explains tipster Jim:...

Deion Branch Will Be At A Papa John's In Louisville For One Hour On Friday
With the reverence worthy of a Super Bowl MVP, the sign outside the Papa John's at 2nd and Liberty streets in Louisville, Ky. invites passersby to stop in this Friday to distract Patriots WR Deion Branch from the fact that he's been forced to make an appearance at a Papa John's in his old college t...

Army Officer Justin Dale Little Jim Got Caught Fornicating With A Blow-Up Doll Against Its Will
A fella by the name of Justin Dale Little Jim allegedly busted into the MVC Couples Boutique (Lingerie & More) in Woodbridge, Va. early Tuesday morning. By the time police arrived along Jefferson Davis Highway, the front door was busted and more than $200 worth of “merchandise” was already in Littl...

It's Time To Watch Tiger Woods's Japanese Sports Rub Back Creme Commercial
When your wife takes a nine iron to your career and marketability, sometimes the best response is to jump at the first Katsuhiro Kaji heat rub offer thrown your way. Introducing Tiger Woods, spokesman for Vantelin Kowa....