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Add "Not Getting Ejected" To List Of Bryce Harper's Missed Goals For 2018

It’s been a shit year for Bryce Harper, measured against expectations, and even aside from the Nationals being an even bigger disappointment than usual. He came on in the second half, but he’s still gonna finish the year batting around or below .250, and with a growing reputation as a guy who can be...

Maybe Stephen Strasburg Is Doing This On Purpose?

In his last start, back on Thursday, Stephen Strasburg managed to plunk all of Jorge Alfaro, Matt Wieters, and umpire Hunter Wendelstedt, all with one pitch. It was assumed at the time that this was a fluky accident, but maybe not! Maybe he’s doing this on purpose....

Sensitive Umpire Laz Diaz Turns Baseball Game Into Extended Temper Tantrum

Home plate umpire Laz Diaz lost his mind in the middle innings of Friday night’s Nationals-Braves game. In the bottom of the fifth inning, with the Braves at bat, Diaz jumped up and started screaming at Bryce Harper, who was stationed 150 feet away, in center field. Diaz was pissed at Harper for exp...

Stephen Strasburg Plunked Three Guys With One Pitch

Efficiency is important for a starting pitcher, so give credit to Nationals right-hander Stephen Strasburg, who Wednesday night tagged hitter Jorge Alfaro, his own teammate Matt Wieters, and umpire Hunter Wendelstedt, all with one baseball....

Nats Rookie Spits Out Tooth, Socks First Career Dinger [Update]

A strange thing happened in the top of the fifth inning of the first game of today’s Nationals-Phillies doubleheader. Nationals’ rookie catcher Spencer Kieboom spit out a tooth (or possibly a chunk of tooth?) on his way to the plate for his second at-bat of the day....

Philly's Grounds Crew Uses Flamethrowers To Dry Wet Field, HAS FLAMETHROWERS

Monday night’s scheduled Nationals-Phillies game was postponed when the Philadelphia grounds crew couldn’t get the field ready for play, despite there being no significant rain at game-time. The issue, it turns out, came down to heavier than expected rain over the weekend, or possibly a miscalculati...

The Good-For-Nothing Nationals Came Within One Lousy Run Of The Rare All-69 Trifecta

The Nationals beat the Cardinals by one run in extras on Labor Day. Who gives a shit, right? The Nationals are junk. The loss could matter to the Cardinals in their pursuit of an NL Wild Card, but that is not why we are here. We are here for this:...

Gio González Takes A Break From Weeping To Reassure Brewers PR People: "But I'm Happy! I Am Happy."

The Nationals traded lefty starter Gio Gonzalez to the Milwaukee Brewers on Friday, the last day that players can move between teams and remain eligible to play in the postseason. Gonzalez has been in Washington since 2012; during that time he’s gotten married, had a couple kids, and entrenched hims...

Mark Reynolds Punctuates Meltdown By Throwing Batting Gloves At Umpire

Nationals international man of mystery Mark Reynolds was displeased by a called strike three in the top of the eighth inning in Tuesday night’s game against the Phillies, when umpire Sam Holbrook rang him up on an 0–2 outside fastball after an enthusiastic frame-up by Phillies catcher Jorge Alfaro. ...

The Nationals Finally Throw In The Towel

After spending the trade deadline waffling and coming out the other side without buying nor selling to any important degree, the Nationals have finally begun their fire sale. ...

Maybe The Nationals Really Are As Much Of A Mess As That Anonymous Player Said

The Nationals are now dead, much as they have died many times before this season, but this time it’ll really take, coming as it did at the humiliating hands of the Marlins. So it’s time for postmortems! Here’s a good Washington Post story containing the anecdote that’ll come to define this lost year...

Stick All The Forks In These Losers

The Nationals got smoked Sunday afternoon, at home, by the garbage Marlins. Jose Ureña—yes, that fucking guy—pitched a dominant two-hitter for his first career complete game. Ureña, by the way, on top of being a shithead, is bad! He came into the game with a 3–12 record, and a crummy 4.74 ERA, and a...

Max Scherzer, Still An Intense Weirdo

Lost in the thrill of rookie David Bote’s spectacular walk-off grand slam was the best pitching duel of perhaps the entire season. New Cubs acquisition Cole Hamels threw seven innings of one-hit, one-run ball, and Max Scherzer, favorite for a third straight Cy Young, did him one better with three h...

David Bote's Walk-Off Grand Slam Was Exhilarating 

When you’re playing baseball as a kid, just messing around with a bat and a ball in the park or your backyard, what are you picturing? Every time, it’s you’re down three, bases loaded, bottom of the ninth, two outs, two strikes....

Nationals Pitcher Heroically Respects Anthem While Under Attack By Praying Mantis

During the always-sacred pre-game performance of the U.S. national anthem in our nation’s capital, ahead of a game between the Nationals and Braves, Washington pitcher Erick Fedde was faced with an impossible choice. He could continue to stand at attention and give his deepest respects to a dull son...

The Nationals Are Cracking Down On Their "Iffy Clubhouse Culture"

Nationals reliever Brandon Kintzler was one of the team’s few trade deadline casualties on Tuesday, traded to the Cubs for a Single-A prospect, a relative pittance given the all-star set-up man’s production this season. The Nats were in a weird, hybrid, buyer/seller mode, one that necessitated consi...

Shawn Kelley's Glove-Throwing Meltdown Will Cost Him His Spot On The Nationals

Last night, Nationals reliever Shawn Kelley gave up a completely meaningless ninth-inning home run to Austin Jackson, which turned the Nationals 23-run win into a 21-run win. Maybe he was mad about dulling Washington’s historic margin, or maybe he was just angry that he was in the game at all, but K...

Behold A Cursed Phrase: "The Worst Loss In Mets History"

It is obviously not so simple as this, but when a team, especially one as desperately crummy as the New York Mets, decides to stand pat at the trade deadline, the front office (or perhaps ownership, in this instance) is saying to fans and to the players, “This is fine.” Is this fine? Mere hours afte...

Update: Bryce Harper Is Not Available

Bryce Harper Is Available

Good morning! It’s just about seven hours until the trade deadline, and Bryce Harper could be on the block....