washingtonwizards Page 4 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Dwight Howard Needs A Buttectomy
Okay, fine, probably it’s not a buttectomy. But it’s at least a buttotomy or a buttopsy. The butt pain that has kept Dwight Howard out of all but nine Wizards game this season will reportedly require surgery:...
Masin Elijé Is Still Talking About His Harassment Accusation Against Dwight Howard, But Almost No One Else Is
On Saturday night, Masin Elijé started a Twitter thread saying that he had dated Washington Wizards center Dwight Howard. Elijé also wrote that, after breaking up with Howard, he was harassed and threatened by both Howard and a man named Calvin who works for him....
The Rockets Are Short On Ideas
The Rockets lost on the road to the crummy Wizards Monday night, in overtime, by the score of 135–131. James Harden was tremendous, in his particular James Harden-ian way, but the team around him mostly sucks, and the Rockets once again have absolutely no reliable form of attack beyond clearing out ...
The Wizards Are Like If A Sarlacc Took Up Residence Underneath A Burning, Flooded Carnival Outhouse, Per Reports
It’s all coming apart in Washington, and by “it” I mean a half-decade of trumped-up semi-relevance in which the team never seriously contended for anything more meaningful than supremacy in the NBA’s Southeast Division. Mutiny is at hand. Soon there will be cannibalism....
The Wizards Are No Longer A Basketball Team
If you have the stomach for it, pick a night when the Washington Wizards have a game at the same time as another game between pretty much any two other NBA teams, even really shitty ones like the Phoenix Suns or New York Knicks, and spend some time toggling back and forth between the two every few m...
Dwight Howard Heckled By Arena Worker During Post-Game Free-Throw Practice
The hackneyed image of an NBA player taking time after an arena has emptied out to practice getting his shots up becomes a story at least once a season for teams that are failing to meet expectations, or just generally struggling. Fresh off a 115-104 home loss to the Nets that put the Wizards at 5-1...
This Dwight Howard Shot Was A Crime Against Basketball
The pestilential Wizards lost last night, again, bringing their record this season to a pitiful 2-8. Terminally unfunny center Dwight Howard—whose teammates universally cannot stand him—is back from a butt injury, and the Wizards are in such a sorry state of internecine bickering that Howard is the ...
Boban Marjanovic Can Ferociously Dunk By Just Kinda Leaning Back
As a general rule, garbage time is unfun to watch—just a bunch of guys scrimmaging out in the public sphere, the actual game long reduced to a formality. The large exception to that rule is named Boban. There will never be a time when 7-foot-3 center Boban Marjanovic is on a basketball court and doe...
Markieff Morris Shamelessly Yanks Seth Curry's Shorts From The Bench
With the Wizards and Trail Blazers tied in the final seconds of regulation, Portland had the last shot. Damian Lillard brought up the ball for a high pick-and-roll with Jusuf Nurkic. Seth Curry nestled himself deep in the left corner. And Markieff Morris, who was not closing this one out for the Wiz...
It's Just Always Gonna Be Like This For The Wizards
Dwight Howard hasn’t played yet. He’s out with, literally, a sore ass. The guy starting in his place, Ian Mahinmi, has played a total of 33 minutes in three games; he’s committed 10 fouls and made one shot. The guy backing him up, Jason Smith, has a minus-22 net rating in 44 minutes and is shooting ...
Kristi Toliver Becomes First Active WNBA Player To Join NBA Coaching Staff
The Washington Wizards announced Tuesday that Washington Mystics guard Kristi Toliver would join the team’s staff as an assistant coach for player development....
Markieff Morris's Bad Temper Is In Mid-Season Form
My friends, the Morris twins are extremely back on their bullshit. Last week Marcus Morris took the bait when Tristan Thompson ran his mouth about the LeBron-less Cavs still being the team to beat in the Eastern Conference. Also last week Markieff Morris felt it sensible to declare that the Boston C...
Dwight Howard Swears That The Warriors Were Interested In Him
Dwight Howard—team-killer, corny joke maker, toxic locker-room presence, and general oaf—signed with the Washington Wizards a few weeks ago, his fourth team in four seasons. The market for him in free agency was quite small, and yet he somehow landed on the team with players who aren’t all fond of ...
Actually John Wall Looks Great
As you may have heard, all of NBA media, and indeed pretty much all of the western world, came together yesterday to deride Washington Wizards all-star guard John Wall for, uh, proudly refusing to conform to our culture’s rigid expectations of what a successful professional male athlete must look li...
Dude, John Wall, Whoa
Team USA Basketball Camp starts today in Las Vegas, which means of bunch of the top American basketball players get to hang out under the watchful eye of Gregg Popovich—and also, apparently, one massively exhausted party animal will be there too. The Wizards tweeted out a picture from the camp that ...
How I Became A Wizard, By Dwight Howard, Age 7
Last year, the Washington Wizards underperformed both out of sheer ingrained habit and because some of the most important people on the team just absolutely fucking hated some of the other most important people on the team. On Monday, the team introduced Dwight Howard, the veteran big man that the t...
Yes, Surely Dwight Howard Is Just The Man To Solve The Wizards' Crippling Chemistry Issues
Why did the Wizards fade down the stretch last season and finish 10-15 after the All-Star break on their way to another first-round exit? Part of it was an injury to John Wall, part of it was their questionable depth, but an important reason was that they loathed each other. Exhibit A: Marcin Gortat...
Michael Wilbon: LeBron Should Play For The Wizards So He Can Be Like Jeff Bezos<em></em>
Michael Wilbon, a grumbly shithead who’s spent the better part of this millennium actively torching his own hard-won relevance, has now weighed in on LeBron James’s impending free agency. You may be surprised to learn that Wilbon—who has made it clear multiple times that he thinks D.C. is a “terribl...