we Page 374 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Ole Miss's Athletics Director Is A Smarmy Fuck
Ole Miss athletics director Ross Bjork has written a letter to the editor of the Opelika-Auburn News, which caught a lot of shit this week for running a photo of Ole Miss receiver Laquon Treadwell suffering a season-ending injury during Saturday's game against Auburn on its front page. Bjork's lette...
Dozens Of Seagulls Straight Chillin' On The Pitch At Aussie Soccer Match
These are the highlights of Melbourne Victory's 2-0 win over Wellington Phoenix. More impressive than either goal scored is that the match continued on in the middle of a veritable bird storm, with dozens of gulls just walking on or flitting about the field and players like they owned the place....
Cristiano Ronaldo Enjoys His Own Crotch, In Cake Form
Ah yes. We've reached the first anniversary of walking brand Cristiano Ronaldo's underwear line—which you may remember from our previous coverage. In celebration, Ronaldo's team has memorialized the occasion by baking him a cake. Of his bulging crotch....
Auburn Newspaper Defends Publishing Photo Of Laquon Treadwell's Injury
One of the most crucial and dramatic plays in college football this year also featured a season-ending injury that remains painful to look at. How do you weigh the import of the moment with sensitivity to the injured player? If you're one Alabama newspaper, you put it on the front page of the spor...
Wes Welker's Back Got Mushed By Devin McCourty
Wes Welker took a nasty hit to his back from Patriots safety Devin McCourty, and the Broncos receiver stayed down on the field for a bit. (Meanwhile, Brandon Browner intercepted the tipped pass.) Welker got up on his own, and his return is probable, somehow. ...
Auburn Beats Ole Miss After Winning Touchdown Wiped Away By Injury
Fourth-ranked Ole Miss appeared to have scored the winning touchdown at home against Auburn tonight with 90 seconds remaining, when Laquon Treadwell crossed the goal line. Unfortunately, Treadwell fumbled the ball before he reached the end zone—and with good reason, as the Rebels wide receiver suffe...
Did <em>NBC Nightly News</em> Go Live To A Man Who Was Taking A Piss?
It sure looks like Weather Channel meteorologist Mike Seidel was relieving himself when Lester Holt threw to him during his coverage of the storms in North Carolina. What else could he have been doing?...
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Gordie Howe Watches As Joe Louis Arena Gives Him A Standing Ovation
Gordie Howe is back resting at his daughter's home after suffering a stroke, and the Detroit Red Wings wanted to do something nice to help lift his spirits. Before In the middle of the first period of Friday night's game at Joe Louis Arena against the Los Angeles Kings, they got the crowd to sta...
Russell Westbrook Out Four Weeks With Broken Hand
There goes the Thunder's plan for keeping the ship afloat while waiting out Kevin Durant's injury, as they will now be without Russell Westbrook for at least a month. Westbrook broke a bone in his right hand in the team's second game of the season against Thursday, and had surgery Saturday to repair...
"Trevone Enjoys Boykin Dudes": Your <em>College GameDay</em> Sign Roundup
Here's the "best" of what West Virginia had to offer on ESPN's College GameDay this morning....
Which Hoodie Brings Bill Belichick The Most Success?
Mike Dussault, also known as @PatsPropaganda, looked through 160 games since 2003 and tracked the types of hoodies worn by Bill Belichick to determine which one yielded the best record. He also specified hoodies with and without sleeves cut off. We thank him for his hard work....
Suns Pranked By Old "Dinosaur In The Arena" Trick
Completely blowing the Flyers' Halloween prank out of the water, the Suns' Goran Dragic teamed up with one of those animatronic dinosaur puppets to scare the crap out of his teammates. Please be sure fast-forward to 3:15 for the Morris twins; even the gif can't do it justice....
Nick Young Dressed Up As The Best <em>Chappelle's Show</em> Sketch
Let's take this opportunity to clarify something: The best Chappelle's Show sketch was Charlie Murphy's stories about Rick James. There's no need to be contrarian about this....
Bill Belichick Is Fed Up With All These Wrong-Ass Meteorologists
At today's press conference, somebody asked Patriots head coach Bill Belichick if he ever takes the weather forecast into account when game planning, and Belichick responded by going on a sustained grumble-rant about how shitty weather forecasters are at their jobs....
Candy Corn Is Garbage
Many people like candy corn, such as hobos, serial murderers, and Satan. But actually, candy corn is terrible. If you give it out to trick-or-treating children this evening, you belong in fucking prison....
The Pumpkin Dance
The true spirit of Halloween. Here's the story behind it, but you're probably better off coming up with your own explanation....
And Now, Your Worst Halloween Costume Stories
We were living in Chicago when I was six, and I chose to be a ghost for Halloween. I made the costume myself, because cutting two holes in a sheet seems like an easy task. Of course, I had to cut a third eyehole, because my first two were off-alignment. I also failed to consider the fact that a...