whimsy Page 2 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Great Wonder Of The NFL Is Ben Roethlisberger's Dreadfully Large Head
The Steelers got their asses kicked in by the Patriots last night, and you only need to take one look at Ben Roethlisberger’s big dumb head to understand just how poorly the game went for his team....

Fan At Phillies-Mets Battles Bug Behind Home Plate
Top of the seventh. Bases loaded. Two outs. Full count. Bryce Harper at the plate. And one fan on TV was battling a bug of some sort....

Irritable Lance Lynn And Persnickety Umpire Confuse The Hell Out Of Each Other
Texas Rangers pitcher Lance Lynn did not have an especially fun time facing the dreaded Yankees Wednesday night. For starters, Aaron Judge and Gleyber Torres socked another couple dingers off him, and he got next to no run support, and wound up taking the loss. To make matters worse, home plate umpi...

Please Understand That I Would Kill, And Surely Die, For This Carnivorous Howling Mouse
I understand that you come to Deadspin to see the “fresh content” of the day. What’s going on out there in the wide world of sports and beyond? Well you can always come on down to Deadspin to find out, of course! I am sorry to say that this particular post will offer no such insight into what’s curr...

Brain Genius Alex Rodriguez Explains Why "Even Leads" Are Better Than "Odd Leads"
Alex Rodriguez undoubtedly knows more about baseball than I will ever know about anything, and so I choose to take the following clip not as cause for concern, but as encouragement. After all, if one of the greatest players in baseball history can have a thought this inane about the game, then I sho...

Overexcited Jackson State Mascot Hops Right In The Scrum After A Touchdown
You can really tell that Jackson State’s mascot is a valued part of the team—or the person inside the suit feels that way, at least....

The Georgia Tech Defense Is Full Of Clout Sharks
College football gimmicks are fun. Everyone loves Miami’s turnover chain and touchdown rings; Florida State’s turnover backpack was ... okay, and who could forget Kennesaw State’s wonderful turnover plank? Unfortunately, it is possible that Georgia Tech killed the entire sideline gimmick industry du...

The Dodgers' Best Reliever Is Their Backup Catcher
I regret to inform you that the Los Angeles Dodgers, a powerhouse that always seems to find new sources of talent whenever it needs, have a new shutdown reliever on their hands. He’s short, he’s Canadian, and he simply cannot be touched....

Russian Sportscaster, Sprinkler Battle To Draw In Exhilarating Showdown
Evgeniy Evnevich, a correspondent for Russia’s Match TV, had just begun his dispatch on the status of CSKA Moscow midfielder Kristijan Bistrović when a devilish sprinkler began to pursue him....

Meet "The Fridge," Who Is Like "The Freeze" But Larger And More Cunning
Everyone loves “The Freeze,” the masked sprinter who makes a living humiliating amateur athletes at Braves games, but there is a similar hero plying his trade at Gwinnett Stripers games, and he is quite the specimen....

Foul Ball Immediately Becomes Child's Most Prized Possession
Yes, yes, we’ve all seen various versions of a video showing a baseball fan grabbing a foul ball in a way that is funny or charming. But have you ever seen a young baseball fan get his hands on a foul ball and respond like he just gained possession of the One Ring?...

The Brain Of Nick Castellanos Has Transcended Time, The Standings
Professional athletes are known to enter some strange head-spaces in order to stay focused and conquer doubt and all the rest of it. Still, it must be said, Cubs outfielder Nick Castellanos is truly smelling the psychosphere these days. He was asked Tuesday night why he greets manager Joe Maddon wit...

Idiot Squirrel On The Field Successfully Invades Consecutive Twins Games
For the second night in a row, a daring squirrel has invaded the field at the Twins’ stadium. Monday night the furry fellow invaded the home dugout and sent several players fleeing in terror. Tuesday night our intrepid rodent pal bolted down the first baseline, nutmegged a baserunner, briefly leapt ...

Strike Brett Gardner Down, And He Will Only Become More Powerful
When he gets upset about poor umpiring, Yankees outfielder Brett Gardner has been doing ... whatever it is he’s doing in that GIF above. Some might call it a healthy venting of frustration, but others might call it obnoxious tantrum-throwing. Someone who is definitely on Team Obnoxious is umpire Phi...
![Report: The Yankees Almost Had A Hand In Preventing Aaron Boone's "Fucking Savages" Rant From Becoming Public [Correction]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/qjbyih7akg3cmch5jauc.jpg)
Report: The Yankees Almost Had A Hand In Preventing Aaron Boone's "Fucking Savages" Rant From Becoming Public [Correction]
ESPN’s Coley Harvey published a profile on Friday of internet-famous baseball narrator Jimmy O’Brien aka JomboyMedia on YouTube. For those unfamiliar, his videos consist of short, but detailed, breakdowns of interesting and comedic moments that happen in baseball games. Here’s an example:...

Surly Baseball Fan Jack White Returned To Watch Nationals-Brewers In Extra Innings After Leaving To Play A Concert
Jack White is currently on tour with his band The Raconteurs and their show on Saturday was in our nation’s capital. As he is wont to do, White went over to Nationals Park with his bandmates to catch the early portion of Brewers-Nats, but had to leave as the time for his concert approached. The show...

Vacation Home Beset By Legion Of Barfing And Shitting Vultures
Behold the Palm Beach vacation home that was recently purchased for $702,000, and behold the great many winged beasts who have shat and barfed their way to becoming the home’s true lords and masters:...

Rex Ryan Is Still Thinking About Those Feeties
Rex Ryan loves feet—specifically his wife’s feet, and we have all known this for years and years. What’s inspiring about Ryan is not that he has an admiration for feet, but that he is extremely comfortable with the entire world having knowledge of that admiration....

Would You Fight And Die For Titan, The New Dog-King Of Baseball?
Look upon Titan, your new sovereign. Titan began his reign at last night’s Rockies game, leading a legion of hounds into the ballpark and laid claim to all lands within it....

Antonio Brown Is Now Desperately Searching Twitter For The Helmet He Wants
Antonio Brown is due back at Raiders training camp today, following an extended absence that was caused by his accursed feet and his displeasure at no longer being able to wear the kind of helmet he prefers. Brown’s appeal to the NFL to allow him to go on wearing his old helmet failed, but that does...