x Page 697 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Texas High School Nixes Football Team T-Shirt Featuring Rape Joke
A Texas high school forced its football team to get rid of T-shirts with the slogan, "Shhhhhhh[,] just let it happen," because we all know what the fuck they were implying....
Columbia Basketball Player Drops Out Of College To Keep His Eligibility
Alex Rosenberg has withdrawn from Columbia University after suffering a foot injury that could keep him out more than two months, because it's the only way to insure he'll get to play a full senior season. Because amateur sports is totally about the education....
<em>El Mariachi</em> Is A Feast Of Bloody Micro-Budget Silliness
There's a moment early in El Mariachi, the micro-budget 1992 movie that introduced Robert Rodriguez to the world, where our hero, an unnamed wandering musician, asks a bartender if he can work there, singing for tips. The asshole bartender laughs in his face and says that he'd never pay one guy ...
Alex Rodriguez Peed On My Floor, Says Wife Of A-Rod's Cousin
We can't be much clearer than that headline. Carmen Sucart, wife of A-Rod's cousin Yuri, says a few years back, Rodriguez once came to the Sucarts' house (that A-Rod gave to them) and threatened them to keep their mouths shut about his performance-enhancing drug use. Then, he peed on the floor as a ...
Here's Some Racist Shit A French Manager Said About African Players
Bordeaux manager and former French international Willy Sagnol had some things to say about African soccer players this week. As you can probably guess, they were racist as hell....
Don't Threaten Me, Fox Sports Florida
Send stories, photos, and anything else you might have to [email protected]....
A-Rod Snitched On A-Rod During Meeting With DEA
Ever since getting popped with a 162-game performance enhancing drug suspension based on information that MLB obtained by strong-arming Miami steroid peddler Anthony Bosch, Alex Rodriguez has denied ever taking performance enhancing drugs. Now, thanks to documents obtained by the Miami Herald, we kn...
Gerald Green Dunked The Lakers Back Into Their Mausoleum
The shit-ass Lakers are now 0-5 after dropping a home game to the not-shit-ass Phoenix Suns last night. While Kobe Bryant was out there racking up 39 points on 37 (37! Thirty-seven!) shots, Suns swingman and dunk specialist Gerald Green was yamming on the Lakers without mercy. ...
Dozens Of Seagulls Straight Chillin' On The Pitch At Aussie Soccer Match
These are the highlights of Melbourne Victory's 2-0 win over Wellington Phoenix. More impressive than either goal scored is that the match continued on in the middle of a veritable bird storm, with dozens of gulls just walking on or flitting about the field and players like they owned the place....
Right Now, Alexis Sánchez Is The Most Destructive Force In Soccer
For the uninitiated, Arsenal striker Alexis Sánchez is a demon. He's an agent of chaos, and identifiable by a single, recognizable trait: when he approaches opposing players on the soccer field, they start fucking up....
A-Rod Paid His Cousin $900,000 To Shut Up About Steroids
The last time we checked in with Alex Rodriquez's cousin Yuri Sucart, he was taking the fall for all manner of steroids-related sins. As first reported in the New York Daily News, we now know why: Rodriguez paid him a cool $900,000 to do so....
25 Dope Pictures Of Muhammad Ali
Over at the ever-amazing Kottke, I found a link to this cool post at the Guardian. ...
Eagles Lineman Jason Peters Didn't Know Nick Foles Got Hurt
Eagles quarterback Nick Foles exited today's game in the first quarter with a collarbone injury after a tackle by Whitney Mercilus; former Jets hostage Mark Sanchez replaced him. Jason Peters, however, didn't immediately know about the switch, so he was in for a shock when he realized Foles didn't t...
How To Roast Mushrooms: A Guide For Reformed Fraidycats
An opinion common to the children of America is that mushrooms are bad. They express this viewpoint with crinkled little noses and furrowed brows, picking mushrooms out of their food with chubby little fingers. "I don't wike these," they say. "They'we gwoss."...
Suns Pranked By Old "Dinosaur In The Arena" Trick
Completely blowing the Flyers' Halloween prank out of the water, the Suns' Goran Dragic teamed up with one of those animatronic dinosaur puppets to scare the crap out of his teammates. Please be sure fast-forward to 3:15 for the Morris twins; even the gif can't do it justice....
Candy Bars, Ranked Competently
Yeah. We tried to stick to physical bars here, with one notable exception; overall, this experience was way less contentious staff-wise than that whole superheroes thing. RIP Bar None. This supersedes any previous rankings. Thank you for your time....
I Watched A Journeyman Fighter Get His Ass Beat In A Cage In St. Louis
From Thrown, Kerry Howley's new, great book on mixed martial arts, available now....
Oklahoma RB Avoids Jail Time For KO'ing Woman; Video Evidence Shredded
Oklahoma freshman tailback Joe Mixon accepted a plea deal today, meaning he won't go to trial for allegedly punching a woman in the face, knocking her unconscious, then walking away....
How Muhammad Ali's Rope-A-Dope Myth Suckered America
Myth now dominates our misunderstanding of Muhammad Ali, who was once the most accessible celebrity in the world. The truth of the man is nearly irretrievable. With Ali having receded into an exile of his own choosing, the jokes and half-truths and outright lies he once told to entertain us have h...
The Rad '90s Western <em>Tombstone</em> Is Val Kilmer's Finest Hour
Since I started writing this column, I've been wondering what to do with westerns. They aren't quite action movies, but they're action-adjacent. It feels a bit ridiculous to discuss Once Upon a Time in the West in the same space I'm using for stuff like Dredd and Universal Soldier: Day of Reckoning....