yo Page 434 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Charlie Strong Has Been Drug-Testing The Crap Out Of His Players
Texas head coach Charlie Strong has dismissed nine players from his team so far this year, leading most of the football-viewing public to wonder what the fuck is going on at Texas. Thanks to the Austin American Statesman, we seem to have at least a partial answer to that question. The players are ge...
Mets Writer Notes Team Hasn't Balked All Year; Mets Immediately Balk
This is just beautiful:...
Phil Jackson Says Melo Will Move The Ball. So Did These Guys.
"The ball can't stop," is definitionally just some flatulence squeezing out of a hundred basketball coaches at any given moment. But this week, it happens that Phil Jackson, the new Knicks boss messiah, said this while referring to Carmelo, the basketball player whom Jackson signed this offseason. ...
Keith Olbermann Takes A Big Ol' Poo On Derek Jeter
For anyone who is fed up with Derek Jeter's season-long victory parade and all of the muck that it has produced, this nearly seven-minute monologue from Keith Olbermann will feel downright pornographic. ...
Never High Five A Guy Who Can Only Make A Fist
Send stories, photos, and anything else you might have to [email protected]....
Mighty Mite Football Players Thwarted By Banner
The parents of players of the Wallkill (NY) Mighty Mites tried to do something nice for the first home game of the season, but alas, the road to hell is paved with good intentions. It seems that they thought their 50 pound sons would be strong enough to break through a vinyl banner while emulating t...
Derek Jeter Ass-Eating Gossip We Really Want To Be True
Today, a tipster sent us a bit of gossip about Derek Jeter's sex life that comes from what he claims to be a very reliable source. This gossip is likely no more true than similar stories we've come across in the past, but we really, really want it to be true. ...
That Stupid Derek Jeter Ad Will Make You Cry For America
On Thursday, The Gatorade Company Inc.—a marketing shop with a secondary concern in the manufacture and distribution of sweetened salt water—released an advertisement featuring Derek Jeter, one of the worst players in baseball....
James Dolan Is A Shitty Boss, Part 4,593
New York Knicks owner and crap-ass wannabe blues musician James Dolan tried to set some kind of world record for the most people playing kazoo in one room. He enlisted New York Knicks Amar'e Stoudemire and Carmelo Anthony, who would have probably rather been anywhere else, to help him lead the crowd...
This Russian Soccer Brawl Goes From 0 To 100 Real Quick
As more proof that there's nothing Russians don't think would be improved by spontaneous kickboxing bouts, here's a video of two youth soccer teams fucking each other up after only the slightest provocation....
The Royals' First-Ever Online Playoff Ticket Sale Didn't Go So Well
If you think you bought Royals playoff tickets today in anticipation of K.C.'s likely berth, you should probably check again. This sounds ominous:...
A More Honest Version Of Gatorade's Derek Jeter Ad
The Internet's falling over itself today to provide yet another major corporation free advertising in the form of a Derek Jeter video. This one, from Gatorade, is similar to the Nike spot that ran during the All-Star Game; it, too, has some inaccuracies we felt the need to correct....
What's The Matter With Jim Brown?
Originally published in the December 1986 edition of Sport magazine, as part of a special 40th anniversary issue devoted to "The 40 Who Changed Sports." This story is a good analytical companion to Pete Dexter's insane 1981 profile of Brown, reprinted here last week ....
Brandon McCarthy Pitches Immaculate Inning, Breaks Season Record
Yankees pitcher Brandon McCarthy contributed to a broken MLB record tonight against the Rays when he tossed the sixth immaculate inning of the season. His effort broke the record for most immaculate innings in a season, set in 1998. The first five were pitched by Brad Boxberger, Cole Hamels, Jus...
Joe Girardi Says Rays Pitchers Aren't Good Enough To Safely Pitch Inside
The race for third place in the AL East is a snippy one, with the Ray's honoring Derek Jeter before last night's game, then clipping him with a fastball in on the hands. Afterward Joe Girardi blasted the Rays for hitting so many Yankees batters recently, but with a twist: instead of accusing them of...
Adam Jones Pies Fans While Celebrating AL East Title
The Baltimore Orioles clinched the AL East last night, which is great news, because the Orioles are not the Red Sox or the Yankees. It is also great news because it gave Orioles all-star outfielder Adam Jones a chance to celebrate his team's division title by mashing pies into the faces of Orioles...
Korean Mayor Egged By Councilman For Relocating Baseball Stadium
What you see here, via our friends at MyKBO.net, is the mayor of Changwon, South Korea, Ahn Sang-soo, getting busted with an egg thrown by councilman Kim Sung-il. ...
Rays Gift Derek Jeter A Kayak, Fastball To The Hand; Benches Clear
Derek Jeter received a lot of gifts today. Before the game, the Tampa Bay Rays gave him a $16,000 donation to his foundation, a Don Zimmer jersey, and a pinstriped kayak. And in the eighth inning, Steven Geltz gave him a fastball to the elbow hand. You know, something to remember the Trop by....
I'm Giants Offensive Lineman Geoff Schwartz. Ask Me Stuff.
Geoff Schwartz is a six-year NFL veteran who currently plays guard for the New York Giants. He's waiting in the discussion section below to answer any questions you have for him. You can follow him on Twitter @GeoffSchwartz....