Targeting Jittery Ballplayers

One of the most common emails we receive around here is a request to look further into the rampant use of amphetamines in Major League Baseball. We don't think this is because fans necessarily care, mind you. We just think fans think it's funny to imagine all the favorite players all jittery and jumping around in the dugout, carrying glow sticks and trying to keep their teeth from chattering. We agree; we think it's kind of funny too.

The quieter section of yesterday's big steroid agreement might ultimately be the most important, though; anyone caught using "greenies" (still a dumb name, by the way) will receive mandatory follow up testing on the first offense and, if nailed again, will miss 25 games. Another positive test will cost him 80 games, and a fourth ... well, you might not see the guy much after that. Considering how apparently common amphetamine use is, this could get pretty huge pretty fast.

Some players are already freaking out, including Mike Stanton, who fortunately for him, probably won't be employed next year. "I don't condone using something, but this sport is unlike any other sport," he told the New York Post. "We play every day. We travel every three days. We get in at 5 in the morning. I'm not condoning using greenies or anything like that. My question is, what the cutoff will be. Can people still drink coffee? Can people still drink things like Red Bull? Some greenies are basically caffeine pills."

Amphetamines are one thing. Banning Red Bull? Donald Fehr is dialing the phone right now.

Policy Puts Red Light On Greenies [NY Post]