The Dork RPI

So here's something we wish we would have had before we filled out our bracket: A complete dissertation of The Nerd Factor, a definitive way to predict college basketball games by alloting for a particular team's "nerd atmosphere" and how it relates to on-court success. Factors include:

• Average SAT score • Acceptance rate • Alumni giving rate • U.S. News overall academic ranking • The prevalence of face painters • The coaching staff's geekability

The top 20 schools are all ranked, and we can proudly state that our Illini came in at No. 9; "The Fightin' Illini's nerd ranking was hurt by their embarrassingly high acceptance rate and frugal alumni donor rate. Apparently, by the time their cheap bastards for undergrads graduate, they forget to be grateful for being let into the school in the first place." Man, that is more true than this guy knows.

By the way, you already know who No. 1 is. Obviously.

College Basketball's Nerd Factor [The Phat Phree]