The NBA Trade Deadline Was A Flurry Of Crap

What a frenzied day it has been out there on the NBA marketplace! Today was the last day for teams to trade during the 2012-13 NBA season, and so teams are wheelin' and dealin' and securing their championship futures!

Take the Miami Heat—they're the favorites to win the championship in June. They made a big deal: They sent backup center Dexter Pittman and a second-round pick to the Grizzlies for a trade exception. Blam! Deal! What about the Oklahoma City Thunder, the squad favored to be Miami's runner-up? They swung a couple of big moves. They nabbed Ronnie Brewer, who wasn't even getting playing time on the Knicks, for a second-round pick. And they sent backup point guard Eric Maynor to the Blazers for a trade exception and the rights to a 27-year-old Greek named Georgios Printezis. Can you feel that? That's the NBA's locus of power migrating from Florida to OKC. But wait. It shifts north. Boston traded Leandro Barbosa's expiring contract for Jordan Crawford. Jason Collins, who was apparently still in the NBA, and on the Boston Celtics, heads to D.C. too.

You want more star-studded swaps between notable teams? The NBA's got 'em for you: Suns send Sebastian Telfair to Toronto for Hamed Haddadi. Bobcats trade Hakim Warrick to the Magic for Josh McRoberts. Anthony Morrow from Atlanta to Dallas for Dahntay Jones. Kapow! A flurry of activity! Someone get me off this Tilt-a-Whirl before I send my throwup to the ground for its trade exception!

Oh no. Here it comes. The big one. Can we handle it? Bucks and Magic. Oh boy. Deep breaths. Try to contain yourself. Gustavo Ayon. Ish Smith. JEEZ. KEEP PUSHING. Beno Udrih. OH DEAR. NOT SURE WE CAN MAKE IT. J.J. Redick. In Milwaukee. Whew. That was a close one.

It seems like most of the day was spent reporting things that weren't going to happen. Like this:

And this:

And this:

And this:

And this:

And on and on and on. But wait. Just past the deadline, a glimmer of hope leaks out. Remember "seldom-used F/C Jeremy Tyler? The one the Warriors would not trade unless there was a last-minute surprise?

He got traded!

To Atlanta. For a second-round pick. Surprise. Our time on earth has not been wasted.