The One Where Some Snoopy Neighbor Tries To Sell Us Stories About John Edwards

Welcome back to Deleted Scenes. This space is now reserved for those scuzz-money entrepreneurs who've unsuccessfully tried to sell us prurient information. This is also where we'll run notable emails we've received from some of our readers. All emails are [sic]'d. Enjoy.

Price offered: $65.23

SUBJECT: John Edwards

DeadSpin,

I would like to share stories of my sitings of John Edwards at his private north carolina secluded home and his personal life with his mistress, their baby, and his egotistical ways.

Would you all be interested in/willing to pay for a story like this?

Bill

Deadspin:

Sure. Let's start around $45.38?

Bill

That's a little bit too low for us.

This story contradicts his statements to People Magazine, where he said he practically spends no time with his mistress rielle and their baby.

These spottings and stories are form his secluded milllion dollar beach house in North carolina.

Bill

Deadspin:

Oh, wait so you have photos, too?

Bill:

No, i do not have photos. I have stories of his sitings on this secluded island. I go by his million dollar house all the time etc. Lots of stories

Deadspin

You want to sell stories of you spying on John Edwards, then?

Bill

Pretty much.

Deadspin

Fine, $65.23, then.

Bill

A.J,

I'm sorry. I'll have to pass. I'll try people magazine, as some of my stories do contradict statements in interviews with People Magazine

Bill

Deadspin

Boo

Bill

People Magazine just offered me 4 thousand dollars. If you offer anything near there then i'm game. I've been a fan of your site ever since the kruger/sanchez scandal came out. I'd rather give you the business than such a big corporation

Deadspin

They did not offer you $4,000.

Bill

How would you like to confirm this?

Deadspin

Send me your email correspondence

(No response)

SUBJECT: Hey Retards

Yeah you. Enough with the dumb dong articles. That piece on Artest was awkward at best, flaccid at worst. Some prude asian girl rebuffing some drunken horny advances from a single NBA player? That's not breaking news, nor does it warrant 4 articles and follow ups!

What I and your readers enjoy are random entertaining videos accompanied by witty commentary. Look no further than this... an arrogant, douchebag professional poker player celebrating a lucky river card only to tear his ACL and get upstaged by Mike the Mouth, his mentor on the rail. You can't script this, and I haven't seen any reference to it anywhere else (even though it apparently happened last year).

The due was vying for a $1.1 million purse (TO THE WINNER) and he sucked out to take a commanding chip lead with 3 people left right when he gimped out. Needless to say, he lost his 'A' game and finished in 3rd place as a result of his Grammatica celebration.

Now that is newsworthy, and would warrant many a witty comment. Step it up before I send this over to Simmons for his new weekly YouTube Hall of Fame!!

Remember, all emails sent to the Deadspin tips line or individual editors are considered on the record unless specified otherwise.