Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise
Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise
Illustration for article titled The Whitecaps Will Summon Your Inner Geek

We proudly present you with Rick Chandler's Minor Enterprise!

Finally, Star Wars geeks and Minor League baseball nerds, together in one enclosed space! What's gonna happen? (Whatever it is, it most likely will not involve girls). The West Michigan Whitecaps (Class-A Midwest League) endeavor to find out for sure on Saturday with Star Wars Night, when more than 30 costumed characters from the double-trilogy converge to rock Fifth Third Ballpark with their unique brand of sweaty exuberance.


Not only will fans get a chance to be frisked by a real storm trooper ("these are not the beers you're looking for"), but the Whitecaps will be showing The Empire Strikes Back after the game, and a clone trooper will play the National Anthem on guitar. Plus, Whitecaps players will be wearing special Star Wars-inspired uniforms (shown in all their grandeur after the jump).

Also after the jump: Allen Iverson plays softball, Jesus vs. Cheap, Unlimited Beer, and a mascot poetry jam. Enjoy.

Illustration for article titled The Whitecaps Will Summon Your Inner Geek

The West Michigan Whitecaps get their geek on for Star Wars Night on Saturday, when they will wear these spiffy unis, which will be auctioned off to benefit the Make-A-Wish Foundation.

Illustration for article titled The Whitecaps Will Summon Your Inner Geek

Other promotions this week:

Allied Waste Ice Cream Helmets. Friday, July 13. Yuma Scorpions (Independent Golden League). Because nothing goes better together on a hot summer day than ice cream and solid waste.


Allen Iverson Softball Classic. Saturday, July 14. Bowie Baysox (Class-AA Eastern League). Star-studded softball action with Carmelo Anthony, Vivica A. Fox, Floyd Mayweather, Dre Bly, Vince Young, Gilbert Arenas, Luke Perry, and many more!

Bronx Is Burning Autographs. Sunday, July 15. Connecticut Defenders (Class-AA Eastern League). No, Oliver Platt will not be there; just the author of the book from which the ESPN extravaganza was based. Feel free to ask questions about The Three Musketeers anyway.


Faith Night/Thirsty Thursday. Thursday, July 19. Ft. Wayne Wizards (Class-A Midwest League). I've always wondered what would happen when a Christian Concert is combined with cheap beer. Should be entertaining. Plus, the Veggie Tales will make an appearance, earning the entire production the coveted "nightmare fuel" tag.

Illustration for article titled The Whitecaps Will Summon Your Inner Geek

Mascots Just Don't Understand Iambic Pentameter. There's a reason that not a single baseball mascot has ever written an enduring work of contemporary poetry. Champ, here — the mascot for the Vermont Lake Monsters (Class-A New York Penn League) — gives it his best shot, but the construction is just hopeless. Plus, there's really no excuse for attempting to rhyme "field" and "unreal." See for yourself, from this entry on Champ's own blog:

It's Opening Day,
The wait is through,
See you at Centennial Field.

Where your Lake Monsters will play,
Somedays even two,
T'will at times seem almost unreal.


Men with dreams of The Show,
Will soon enough know,
The power of playing in Vermont,

And as the season goes,
The hitting and throws,
Glorious headlines printed in large font.


Another year has arrived,
The winter, we survived,
Now is the time to succeed.

Together if we try,
Through September we'll fly,
The playoffs? You gotta believe!


Talk with you soon,

Even so, the blog is still better than 38 Pitches.

Player Of The Week. Matt Elliot, pitcher, Mobile BayBears (Class-AA Southern League). After giving up a run against the Montgomery Biscuits to tie the game in the eighth, Elliot visited the bathroom behind the visitor's dugout and accidently locked himself in. By the time he got out (elapsed time 47 minutes), the BayBears had gone to another pitcher and lost, 5-4.


We want your minor league tips! Send any photos, first-person accounts or mascot poetry to And thanks!

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