This is the only fried device, in our collection of splendidly damaged iPhones that you, Deadspin readers, sent to enter the Deadspin iPhone repair contest. All the other iPhones work, in spite of every bit of pain you have inflicted upon them.
Regrettably, a Gizmodo reader won the title of Most Damaged iPhone, so none of you will receive the iFixIt kit. Your iPhones will remain broken, unless you shell out for new ones.
Writes Kyle Wiens, the iFixit CEO, who judged the contest, "I think the Deadspin damage is more creative—with the notable exception of Gizmodo's Brian Tye, who took the cake. The Gizmodo entries had a lot of glass damage, while the deadspin folks went a little more in-depth, killing a few more LCD screens. It takes a serious impact to knock out the LCD as well as crack the glass."
So we have that.
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This phone, from reader Mike, did win overall runner-up. Mike writes, "This is the result of falling out of my pocket on a motorcycle while on a freeway onramp. I'm sure it was ran over at least once. When I brought it home, it still synced, and I was astonished and relieved that I could get my photos off of it."
From the iFixIt CEO:
My Deadspin winner is Mike. He may be pushing the definition of functional. Proving it works in iTunes is a good start. Can it receive calls? We didn't define 'still works,' so I'll give it to him. That phone makes me cringe. I am always petrified that my iPhone is going to fall out of my pocket while I'm riding my motorcycle, and clearly my fear is justified. Getting it working again is going to be like '6 million dollar man'-we can fix him, make him better than before! Sure, it'll cost more than a new phone-but that's not a problem. This is a super phone!
From Albert, who writes, "Dropped in the street (face down) & run over by several cars. Screen cracked all over, battery compartment ripped off... still works, if you're careful not to grind any loose glass into the side of your face."
From reader Casey.
Another runner-up, from David. He writes, "Here is my pride and joy, my piece of shit iPhone 3G. This baby is about to celebrate its 3rd birthday, but looks more like a cellular geriatric. Handle with care. Additionally, you can't see that the microphone does not work, making it impossible for me to take phone calls, record memos, etc (if it's not a phone anymore, what do I call it, an iPager?). Also, my camera lens does not open, meaning no pictures unless they are sent to me!"
From reader Dave.
From Scott, who writes, "My phone got run over by a car and is still fully functional. I was of course drunk when this happened."
From Bill: "Sorry for the poor quality. I had to take it with the iPad I bought instead of a new phone."
From Sarah, "I treated myself to replacement #3 last September for my birthday. Also, under pretty firm advisement of everyone I know, I bought a case for the first time. The case lasted about 2 days. Ugly. So as any clumsy, accident-prone idiot would do, I took that sucker off and put it in my bag.
Fast forward to about a month later. I had just returned to the city from a weekend away and realized I had locked myself out of my apartment. Called a crook of a locksmith who came to my rescue and while I was paying him ALMOST $400 cash in front of my building, I dropped my fucking iPhone and it shattered. Case was in my bag. Locksmith laughed. I used it in this state for several months, refusing to pay another cent for this pain-in-the ass delicate bastard piece of technology (not that I'm bitter).
The attached picture is courtesy of my new Blackberry."
From Mike: "After attending a friend's wedding in San Jose this past weekend, a group of my friends headed to wine country for a relaxing few days. We spent one of our days visiting wineries, and we arrived at the first one a little after noon. Given that I prefer my wine out of a box, I started to look for alternative activities while others compared tasting notes. I had recently downloaded a speedometer app on my iPhone, so I thought I'd use it to "race" a few of my friends on the patch of asphalt adjacent to the tasting area.
With phone in hand, my friend who has had major knee surgery got up to a top speed of 13 mph. I was sure I could beat my crippled friend, so I kicked off my flip flops and sprinted down the driveway only to fail to beat his mark. I did my best to blame my slow speed on the fact that I was barefoot and the pavement was hot, but they saw through my excuses. The third contestant, my one and only Canadian friend, decided that he would leave his flip flops on because I was complaining about how hot the ground was.
As he started out, he garnered the attention of the 30 or so other winery patrons that had previously been oblivious to our contest. The spectators were both puzzled and captivated as a grown man sprinted past them at full speed for no apparent reason. Just as he was beginning to shut it down, his foot tangled in one of his flip flops and he faceplanted hard into the asphalt and skidded to a halt. A collective gasp was let out by the crowd, and I ran over to survey the damage. In an attempt to protect my phone, he had used his body to shield it during the fall resulting in heavy bleeding from his palms, forearms, knees, and feet. I truly appreciated the effort, but the screen of the phone ended up getting smashed anyway. Worst of all, he failed to top 13 mph. The winery ended up comping his wine tasting, which he completed after picking the bits of rock out of his wounds."