Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise
Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise

This Handsome Steelworker Needs A Name

Illustration for article titled This Handsome Steelworker Needs A Name

Another slightly old bit of news that I wanted to touch on was the Steelers unveiling of a brand new mascot. He's part of the Steelers 75th anniversary celebration, along with some new throwback uniforms.

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He's a big furry steelworker guy with bushy eyebrows, black overalls, and a gigantic chin. A really gigantic chin. In fact, I'm not sure that it's a costume ... it could actually be Bill Cowher after a few BALCO appointments.

Illustration for article titled This Handsome Steelworker Needs A Name

The Steelers had a mascot once before. This guy, who looked like either a fire hydrant, a twinkie, or a dildo, used to hang around Three Rivers Stadium. I don't know if he was an official mascot or just some guy who happened to have a furry yellow dildo costume. These days, he teaches kids about School Bus Safety (lesson #1: the kid in the Joey Porter jersey is not your friend).

Anyway, the new mascot doesn't have a name yet (I'm pushing for "Kordell"), and if you have a good one, you could win a bunch of stuff. But if you choose not to submit your suggestions to the official contest — and let's face it, your brilliance would be wasted there — please share them in the comments.

Steelers mark 75th year with mascot, all-time team [Pittsburgh Post-Gazette]