This Is The Stupidest Shit On The Entire Internet

A few weeks ago, I learned about a dystopian gathering called OzyFest where people paid real American dollars to gaze longingly at thinkfluencers and hear soup-brained psychopaths like Karl Rove host panels. The Silicon Valley–funded Ozy—which is somehow not an incisive performance art piece about our culture’s inexplicable worship of rich morons— includes Laurene Powell Jobs on its board and takes its name from the famous Percy Bysshe Shelley poem “Ozymandias,” which is about the fleeting nature of power and a cautionary tale about hubris. Somehow, Ozy is comically self-important enough to not only name itself after a big dead king who got owned by the sands of time, but also to offer a new (incorrect) interpretation of the poem to serve its own ends. “We read it differently,” they say. “To us, the poem says think big, but be humble, lest you end up ‘two vast and trunkless legs…in the desert.’” Sure, okay, that poem definitely says ‘try hard and do your best!’ Ha ha!

Anyway, I bring all this up to preface the Ozy’s incredible Instagram page, which takes its parent organization’s blind lunacy to an entirely new and horrifying level. Twitter user @avvvvita surfaced one post today, and holy shit, every single one is an embarrassing attempt to pander to what rich Silicon Valley types think Millennials want. “We’re bringing some brains to your feed...by putting facts on celebrity photos. #SeeBeyond,” Ozy’s bio reads. Look at these brains.

This is either the stupidest fucking thing anyone has ever put online, or it’s a pretty good troll.