Sports News Without Access, Favor, Or Discretion

What to watch after you pry the remote from his cold, dead hands ...
• MLB: Phillies vs. Mets (7 p.m., ET) Time for Pelfrey Magic! [ESPN2]
• NBA: Celtics vs. Wizards (7 p.m., ET); Suns vs. Spurs (9:30 p.m., ET). It's Guys Night Out! [ESPN]
• NHL: Eastern Conference quarterfinals, Game 1, Senators vs. Penguins (7 p.m., ET); Western Conference quarterfinals, Game 1, Flames vs. Sharks (10 p.m., ET). Anyone whose birth name is Stanley Cup will be admitted free. [Versus]


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