Trump's Wacky Doctor Is Downers Personified

Harold Bornstein, New York-based gastroenterologist and personal physician to Donald Trump, is quite the man. He looks like Upper West Side Willie Nelson, talks with an inhuman calmness and quietness, and his wife crafted the greatest Dadaist tweet of all time and hates reporters.

Below, the tweet. Above, a sleepy-as-hell Bornstein moving with the speed of a sunbaked lizard through an interview with CNN, before his wife enters and bounces the cameras with no mercy.

Bornstein may have penned the most bizarre physician’s letter of the year, and his business may not be HIPAA compliant, but I say let him live. Anyone this chill, willing to openly discuss how little he cared about writing that insane letter, is fine by me. Bornstein is a human barbiturate who just wants to practice medicine, not a Trump agent or anything like that.

Big wet ass