We Are All Calvinists

• I was rather impressed with Calvin Johnson's endaround touchdown where he eluded about three tackles by himself and had great wide receiver blocking downfield. The Buccaneers adorably recovered the onside kick late in the game and nailed a field goal, but couldn't get another onside kick to go their way. Can Detroit win six more times? Lions 23, Buccaneers 16

• Down eight to Washington with upwards of 20 seconds remaining, Tim Rattay threw the potential game-tying touchdown, but coach Ken Whisenhunt kept Big Daddy Drew's suicide pick intact by letting Anquan Boldin, who is such an ineffective quarterback he's actually a wide receiver, throw an incompletion on the two-point conversion. I haven't seen video of this, but I sure hope to, as it's truly a remarkable way to ensure loss to the Redskins. The Cardinals did recover the ensuing onside kick, but Neil Rackers is not a 55-yard-field goal type of dude. Redskins 21, Cardinals 19

• Even though Willis McGahee had himself a heck of a game, Buffalo moved to 2-1 with Trent Edwards as their starter. I am officially confused as to whether or not Baltimore is a good team. They're 0-2 on Sundays in which I control Deadspin. I trust the generous people of Baltimore can understand this is just a coincidence. Bills 19, Ravens 14

• The onslaught continued, but Miami was feisty enough to put up a few points at the end, showing what happens when New England puts in Matt Cassel at quarterback. See, nation, this is why the Patriots have to run up the score. Otherwise they lose. Opposing New England's methods is like opposing the glorious Burmese military junta. "Brady throws for | six more scores | that's why he gets | all the whores | Burma-Shave" Patriots 49, Dolphins 28

• A little "yessss" sounded in Joey Harrington's head as the body of Will Smith collided with Byron Leftwich, resulting in Bobby Petrino having to throw Harrington into the fourth quarter to complete the comeback. (Trust me, if Petrino could have used Brian Brohm today, he would have.) I didn't see the three Harrington-engineered drives that resulted in just one field goal, but I can only assume that he was a very nice guy even as the clock hit double-zero. Saints 22, Falcons 16

• I like typing sentences one will never get to type again, such as "Rob Bironas kicked eight field goals, overcoming Sage Rosenfels and his four touchdown passes." Titans 38, Texans 36

• Mike Nolan wore a tie for this!? Giants 33, 49ers 15

Five more games going on right now. Dallas-Minnesota seems to be the lesser of five evils.