We Bring Tiger Here To Bury, Not To Praise, Him

Yet another reason why being a multi-millionaire athlete that people worship all the world over must be a pain in the ass: People are always looking for you to screw up so they can metaphorically punch you in the face. Two golf strokes, over a 72-hole tournament, ultimately isn't much, but in the case of Tiger Woods this weekend, it was the difference between people crowned the Ultimate Surveyor Of All That Is Dominant and Tiger Woods Is A Whining Baby.

Witness the pundits. The New York Post's resident Puritan bitch Phil Mushnick says Woods gets too much of a free pass for his bratty behavior, including screaming expletives and purposely destroying a section of the green. Chicago Sun-Times and ESPN fathead Jay " Evil Every Single Day" Mariotti yells that Woods was blaming everyone but himself for his problems. As much as we find it impressive that at least no one is blaming Woods' wife for this latest loss, and as much as we know that writers have to write about something after sitting outside for four straight gorgeous days, we find the whole matter of two strokes being the difference between white and black, alpha and omega, chicken dung and chicken salad, unnverving. Tiger Woods is a choker, Robert Horry is a champion and as long as the buffet table stays free, we'll keep on truckin'.

Calling Tiger's Huff [NY Post] While Campbell Shines, Woods Whines [Chicago Sun-Times]