Week In Deadspin: "Get Away From Me, Carl Monday!"

• So we probably don't need to say much more about our new friends Mike Cooper and Carl Monday. • If only people loved themselves as much as they love a horse. • ESPN anchors are now GQ models. History will not think of us well, people. • Careful of those trampolines, kiddo. • Pat Robertson is packing himself a couple of rockets there. • Jay Mariotti, full of hot gas. • Well, if you have to hide cocaine somewhere ... • The end of "Bonds On Bonds." • Shit! • Matt Drudge is Mr. Baseball! • Pity the poor Royals fan. • Hey, watch the nuts! Avery Johnson is around!

Wow. What more can we say here? Some kind of week. Enjoy The Mighty MJD this weekend, and make sure to check out Jalopnik this weekend for all your Indy 500 needs. We're taking Monday off for Memorial Day — we're just kinda gonna hang out at the library a bit — so we'll see you all Tuesday. Be safe out there, all.