Sports News Without Access, Favor, Or Discretion

Thanks to commenter Hockalees for the video link (even if he's a Gunner). Continue after the jump for the writeup.
UPDATE: Thanks to commenter Andrew for pointing us towards the full highlight package.

Don't Tread What you see above are the highlights of that Tottenham/Fulham 3-3 tie that I mentioned last night. In case you couldn't tell that was the great Clint Dempsey setting up two of Fulham's goals. He was the man down on the ground who kept the ball alive for the first Fulham score on the highlight reel and he also had the header that setup Kamara for the cracking finish. What you didn't see was the team's first goal, the one Dempsey scored all by himself. With Brian McBride sidelined and Carlos Bocanegra playing like a one-legged drunk it's been left to Dempsey to represent our country. He's clearly the most dynamic American to hit England since Madonna.


On the slate this morning...

Goodbye Frankie If Chelsea are going to get by the next month or so without the injured Frank Lampard they're going to have to find the back of the net. In their first match without the perennial 20 goal scorer Chelsea found themselves down a goal in the first half at Villa Park. As I type the minutes are clicking away in the second half and I'm on the verge of throwing stuff. I needed an outright win here to secure my Cal/Chelsea parlay but it doesn't look like that's going to happen.

The Russians Are Coming Arsenal continued their solid play this morning with a fluid 3-1 triumph over Portsmouth. The win keeps Arsenal in the logjam atop the table but all of the big news went on behind the scenes. Russian billionaire steel magnate, and all-around controversial figure, Alisher Usmanov has just completed the purchase of sizable minority stake in the London based club. Where have I heard this before?!?!

They Are Who We Thought They Were Sven-Goran Eriksson and his Manchester City side continued their slide back down to the middle of the table by dropping a 1-0 decision at Blackburn in a contest that was not as close as the score indicated. Hey, at least they won the Derby.


More of Yesterday's action...

Struggggling Manchester United managed to win a game despite the continued absence of Wayne Rooney (injury) and Chrisitano Ronaldo (fuckhead) and the presence of Roy Keane on the opposite sideline. Luis Saha returned to the lineup in the second half and netted the deciding goal in the 1-0 win of Keane's spunky group from Sunderland.


The stars were bright, Fernando The other big story of the day came out of LIverpool's destruction of newly relegated Derby County. The boys from Anfield are putting the rest of the Premiership and the Champions League on notice; they are fully capable of beating the living shit out of teams that really suck (no offense to Derby and Toulouse...but come on). The 6-0 shellacking featured two goals each from Xabi Alonzo and everybody's favorite new Liverpudlian, Fernando Torres. Derby picked up a yellow card, so at least they cracked the box score. It's just a matter of time before the newly signed Scotsman, Kenny Miller and American wunderkind Benny Feilhaber take Derby straight to the top of the table. Or not.

Badass Bolton dropped a 2-1 decision to Everton but Nicolas Anelka netted another goal with solid volley in the first half. Suck on that Arsene Wenger. It was number four on the young season for the former Arsenal striker, he leads the pack in that regard. It's just another win for Everton who are battling with Liverpool and Arsenal to admire Chelsea's backside.


Oooowen! Michael Owen has finally made his presence known at Newcastle when he scored his first goal in about twenty years. He probably broke something though.

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