Welcome Back, Bill!

Bill Simmons has returned, with, of course, another excuse. Posting another shambling "More Cowbell" column (a name that had gotten old before it even started), Big Bill apologizes, saying that he's still deep in edits on his book that we've already read. Other vintage Bill highlights, with what he's really saying, after the jump:

Bill: I would absolutely recommend the Insider for the price (if you have the extra cash) because it's a good product and you get an ESPN The Magazine subscription with it (which many people don't realize). But some people don't have the extra cash (especially students and broke college grads), so I wanted to apologize to them for inadvertently leaving them out.

What He's Really Saying: I know I live in Los Angeles still, even though I still claim I'm a Boston guy, but don't worry: I know what it's like to be poor. Really. I would never imply that you purchase anything I've done, because I know what it's like to be short on cash (did I mention that?), though you should buy the book, even though it's like Jason Voorhees and you've probably already read it.

Bill: I won't be one of those writers who becomes a father and starts writing about the baby all the time. I hate those people and so do you. We named her "Janu" and that's all you really need to know.

What He's Really Saying: You don't really believe I'm not going to write about the kid, do you? Just indulge me. I'll forget I said this in a week. In fact, expect to see her in the cartoon (coming Thursday!)

Welcome Back, Bill! See you tomorrow!

More Cowbell (ESPN Page 2) Bill's Book