Why None of These NBA Play-In Teams Are True Contenders

Stephen Curry, Joel Embiid and Kawhi Leonard.

Star power to enjoy … check.

The Hornets, Suns and Trail Blazers.

Plucky underdogs to root for … check.

The prospect of playing the Thunder, Spurs, Pistons or Celtics next … ugh.

With the eight participants coming more into focus, it appears the NBA will have some intriguing matchups in its play-in games next week.

But let’s be honest: There’s a reason these aren’t called the playoffs. And why the stats don’t count.

That’s because they are nothing more than exhibitions.

There isn’t a single team among the octet that has a chance to advance past the first round of the playoffs. Half will be lucky to win a game.

So while it’s fun to watch Prairie View experience one shining moment at the expense of a school whose students can see actual buildings outside their window, you eventually come to the realization that you’re watching the junior varsity prelim to the marquee event.

Here’s why while some likely participants will be worth watching early next week, you’ll have better things to do by next weekend …

Philadelphia 76ers

If I had a Ben Franklin for every time I’ve heard the phrase “when they get healthy …” – I’d bet it all on that team not being healthy within a week of when it got all green lights. If it ever did happen. With Embiid, Paul George and Tyrese Maxey going triple-threat on some outclassed opponent in the Eastern 7-8 play-in, it might actually catch the attention of the Celtics, who await in the real deal. 

And then when Embiid, George or Maxey – or some combination thereof – can’t remain upright for more than 25 minutes in Boston, you’ll be left muttering: Why can’t this be a best-of-three?

Orlando Magic

Here’s 76ers Lite. Let’s call them the Six-Seveners because they’ve become the ultimate “so-so” team in the NBA. This half-good squad has one loss/one win written all over it in the play-in, so the Magic better be praying for the 7-8’s double-elimination advantage. Then 6-7 would turn into 4, as in a first-round sweep by the Pistons.

Charlotte Hornets

The let-it-fly Hornets earn the right to be the people’s choice in this group, but unless the Raptors drop into the play-in, they won’t have anybody who’ll run with them. This type of first-one-to-130-wins entertainer NEVER succeeds in the playoffs, but at least we could get an answer to one of basketball’s most pressing questions … Who’s the most clever passer in the game today, LaMelo Ball or Caitlin Clark?

Miami Heat

Kinda like Dan Hurley, you don’t want to mess with Erik Spoelstra in the postseason. At least until the Finals. Even should they land 10th, they’d be the last team the Celtics would want to see in Round 1. Remember 2023? They are winners vs. losers in a matchup with the Magic, and defense vs. offense should they draw the Hornets. That plays in the postseason … until you run into bigger winners and better defenders at the end of the week.

Phoenix Suns

For the life of me, I can’t figure out what J.B. Bickerstaff has done to warrant Coach of the Year consideration. Boston’s Joe Mazzulla and Phoenix’s Jordan Ott were supposed to be playing Musical Chairs at the draft lottery venue by mid-April. Instead, their teams each won about 20 more games than expected. Unfortunately for Ott – who should get the award – it takes more than coaching (unless you’re Spoelstra) to win at this point. Still, a Suns-Trail Blazers showdown for Western Surprise Team of the Year would be entertaining and appropriate.

Los Angeles Clippers

You don’t get many Kawhi Leonard-Stephen Curry matchups in the play-in, so that’s a second reason to root for the Trail Blazers to land eighth and the Clippers ninth. But even the hobbled Warriors would have a chance to beat the Clippers, who wrote off the season when they dealt James Harden and Ivica Zubac at the trade deadline. Still, Leonard vs. Curry would be a 30-minute blast, wouldn’t it? (They don't do 48 anymore.) Then again, a 7-8 win would send Kawhi to San Antonio, which could get interesting.

Portland Trail Blazers

Warriors fans are praying to get the Trail Blazers in the 9-10 game, even at Portland, because of the host’s lack of playoff experience. But be careful what you wish for. Curry, Draymond Green, Al Horford, Kristaps Porzingis … with all the games they’ve missed this season, not a single one was due to dizziness. But by halftime of this one-team track meet, that could change.

Golden State Warriors

Don’t look now, but any of the four teams in the Eastern play-in would be a clear-cut favorite in the West. Who'd have thought we'd ever seen that day? With just two “happy to be here” teams and a has-been in their way, the door is certainly open for the Warriors to win twice on the road and make it to the weekend against the Thunder. But you know what they say …

“When they get healthy …”