Your Balls Are Not Ready For This Most Manly Of MMA Events

Because two people kicking the shit out of each other in a semi-sanctioned bloodsport wasn't nearly hardcore enough, now we're doing it with only combatants with criminal records. Are you ready for Cages Vs. Cons, an upcoming event from the minds that brought you Felony Fights™? No, of course not, no one could be properly prepared for this. But it's oh so much more than just some cagefighting at the Los Angeles Sports Arena. Via FilmDrunk,

the event will feature one of the world's largest hip-hop festivals, a tattoo expo, and 10 savage Pro MMA matches pitting ex-cons against all-comers, including a police officer, a firefighter, a teacher and three military veterans who fought in the Iraq War.

It's hosted by Danny Trejo and Tiny Lister, and will be co-headlined by an ex-cop vs an ex-gangbanger, and a former marine vs someone who's been "in and out of jail from the age of 16 until 2008 for a variety of crimes." So get your tickets now. Or, just make sure you're not in the area that night.