Look. If Sosa wants to be white, I can teach him to be white. But he has to dedicate himself to it. He has to do what I say. He has to endure long days of lawn-mowing and attic-organizing, and long nights of laundry-folding and screaming at the TV. He has to listen to Nina Totenberg. He has to have a PBS pencil set. During weekend pickup games he has to dive for loose balls and encourage his teammates. Is Slammin' Sammy ready for this? Come to think of it, am I? #sammysosa
The saddest part about Sammy using the new David Duke Line of skin-care products is that he now enjoys squirrel-meat stew, "Springer" reruns and the comedy stylings of Larry the Cable Guy, not to mention long, slow walks through the county lock-up.
11/12/09
Or, like someone threw flour on his face, with bones and skin still attached. #sammysosa
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CAN'T READ MY
CAN'T READ MY
NO HE CAN'T READ MY
SOSA FACE #sammysosa
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Matt McGwire wants the world to know that Sammy wasn't kissing his fingers, but smelling them. #sammysosa
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I'll take "Close Runners-Up To 'Mark Twain'" for 400, Alex. #sammysosasskin
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