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New York, 3:55 AM
Sat Nov 21
17 posts in the last 24 hours

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  • posts about #sammysosa more →

    Chicago Tribune Deploys Troop Of Writers To Rip On Sosa's New Face

    Sammy Sosa Doesn't See Why People Are So Terrified By His Appearance

    Sammy Sosa Would Like To Clear Up Some Things About His Skin

    Sammy Sosa Re-emerges As Shiny-Suited Latino Zombie

    Ryne Sandberg Joins Wade Boggs In The "Stay Out Of Our Club" Brigade

    Journalist Who Bravely Uncovered McGwire's (Perfectly Legal, Over-The-Counter) Drug Use Up For HOF Award

    Bud Selig's Sosa Strategy: Plead Ignorance, Then Change The Subject

    Lou Piniella Doesn't Know About This Whole Steroid Thing The Kids Are Doing These Days...

    Sammy Sosa Reportedly Tested Positive For PEDs In '03. Whatever.

    Sammy Sosa Does Not Come To You For A Contract Offer
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    Dsmvwl  Admin  Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×
    Image of Phintastic Phintastic
    11/12/09

    In reply to Chicago Tribune Deploys Troop Of Writers To Rip On Sosa's New Face
    "It's as if someone carefully deboned Sammy's face, rolled the skin and dipped it in an egg wash before dusting it with flour."

    Or, like someone threw flour on his face, with bones and skin still attached. #sammysosa
     Reply
    Phintastic was starred Phintastic was unstarred
    Image of AzureTexan AzureTexan
    11/12/09

    In reply to Chicago Tribune Deploys Troop Of Writers To Rip On Sosa's New Face
    Look. If Sosa wants to be white, I can teach him to be white. But he has to dedicate himself to it. He has to do what I say. He has to endure long days of lawn-mowing and attic-organizing, and long nights of laundry-folding and screaming at the TV. He has to listen to Nina Totenberg. He has to have a PBS pencil set. During weekend pickup games he has to dive for loose balls and encourage his teammates. Is Slammin' Sammy ready for this? Come to think of it, am I? #sammysosa
     Reply
    AzureTexan was starred AzureTexan was unstarred
    Image of Steve U Steve U
    11/12/09

    In reply to Chicago Tribune Deploys Troop Of Writers To Rip On Sosa's New Face
    This new season of 24 is going to be fucking terrible. #sammysosa
     Reply
    Steve U was starred Steve U was unstarred
    Image of Matt Sussman Matt Sussman
    11/12/09

    In reply to Chicago Tribune Deploys Troop Of Writers To Rip On Sosa's New Face
    "pale as some manly Lady Gaga"

    CAN'T READ MY
    CAN'T READ MY
    NO HE CAN'T READ MY
    SOSA FACE #sammysosa
     Reply
    Matt Sussman was starred Matt Sussman was unstarred
    Image of Pessimippopotamus Pessimippopotamus
    11/13/09

    @Matt Sussman: It had to be done. #sammysosa
     Reply
    Pessimippopotamus was starred Pessimippopotamus was unstarred
    Image of ClueHeywood ClueHeywood
    11/12/09

    In reply to Chicago Tribune Deploys Troop Of Writers To Rip On Sosa's New Face
    Have we ruled out an intergalactic bug using Sammy's skin as a suit? #sammysosa
     Reply
    ClueHeywood was starred ClueHeywood was unstarred
    Image of Karlifornia Karlifornia
    11/12/09

    In reply to Chicago Tribune Deploys Troop Of Writers To Rip On Sosa's New Face
    it's not the first time he has resembled Jackson."

    Matt McGwire wants the world to know that Sammy wasn't kissing his fingers, but smelling them. #sammysosa
     Reply
    Karlifornia was starred Karlifornia was unstarred
    Image of Phintastic Phintastic
    11/11/09

    In reply to Sammy Sosa Doesn't See Why People Are So Terrified By His Appearance
    Good thing he didn't use the clear, the dude would have turned invisible. #sammysosasskin
     Reply
    Phintastic was starred Phintastic was unstarred
    Image of ClintonPortishead ClintonPortishead
    11/11/09

    In reply to Sammy Sosa Doesn't See Why People Are So Terrified By His Appearance
    Super White Sammy

    I'll take "Close Runners-Up To 'Mark Twain'" for 400, Alex. #sammysosasskin
     Reply
    ClintonPortishead was starred ClintonPortishead was unstarred
    Image of MarkKelsosMigraine MarkKelsosMigraine
    11/11/09

    @ClintonPortishead: +1 #sammysosasskin
     Reply
    MarkKelsosMigraine was starred MarkKelsosMigraine was unstarred
    Image of Chris Hanson's Axe Chris Hanson's Axe
    11/11/09

    In reply to Sammy Sosa Doesn't See Why People Are So Terrified By His Appearance
    Its European! #sammysosasskin
     Reply
    Chris Hanson's Axe was starred Chris Hanson's Axe was unstarred
    Image of AzureTexan AzureTexan
    11/11/09

    In reply to Sammy Sosa Doesn't See Why People Are So Terrified By His Appearance
    The saddest part about Sammy using the new David Duke Line of skin-care products is that he now enjoys squirrel-meat stew, "Springer" reruns and the comedy stylings of Larry the Cable Guy, not to mention long, slow walks through the county lock-up.
     Reply
    Edited by AzureTexan at 11/11/09 2:32 PM AzureTexan was starred AzureTexan was unstarred
    Image of David Hume David Hume
    11/11/09

    In reply to Sammy Sosa Doesn't See Why People Are So Terrified By His Appearance
    To be fair, he's also been applying it below his ankles, to improve his renditions of "Sundown" and "Rainy Day People" at an upcoming karaoke night. #sammysosasskin
     Reply
    David Hume was starred David Hume was unstarred
    Image of Jefferson Tardship Jefferson Tardship
    11/11/09

    In reply to Sammy Sosa Doesn't See Why People Are So Terrified By His Appearance
    "I'm not a racist, I live my life happily."

    Rush Limbaugh lives his life happily. Probably because of all the Oxycontin in his bloodstream. #sammysosasskin
     Reply
    Jefferson Tardship was starred Jefferson Tardship was unstarred
    Image of MattinglysSideburns MattinglysSideburns
    11/11/09

    In reply to Sammy Sosa Doesn't See Why People Are So Terrified By His Appearance
    Coincidentally, "Primer Impacto" is also the name of the skin product he's using. #sammysosasskin
     Reply
    MattinglysSideburns was starred MattinglysSideburns was unstarred
    Image of MarkKelsosMigraine MarkKelsosMigraine
    11/11/09

    In reply to Sammy Sosa Doesn't See Why People Are So Terrified By His Appearance
    After doing some half-assed Google research

    Maybe if you used your whole ass you wouldn't upset so many readers and ruin so many reputations.

    -Tracy Ham and Eggs #sammysosasskin
     Reply
    MarkKelsosMigraine was starred MarkKelsosMigraine was unstarred
    Image of ClintonPortishead ClintonPortishead
    11/11/09

    In reply to Sammy Sosa Doesn't See Why People Are So Terrified By His Appearance
    Other side effects of Hydroquinone include loss of rhythm, an inflated credit score, and an appreciation for Bob Saget where there once was none. #sammysosasskin
     Reply
    ClintonPortishead was starred ClintonPortishead was unstarred
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