Sports News Without Access, Favor, Or Discretion

What you missed while attempting to hibernate through Sunday morning.
• CFB: Rutgers dispatched the Midshipmen 41-24. I wish the Marines had a football team, Ufford is the white Wes Welker.:
• Boxing: Zab "Super Jew" Judah def. Edwin Vazquez in a unanimous decision. Zab survived an early headbutt that resulted in a cut and a broken hand. The Maj loves The Zab.
• MLB: Arizona shut down the Cardinals to the tune of 4-2. Rick Ankiel went 1-4 with a single which proves that the prescribed HGH he took three years ago (when he was a pitcher and HGH wasn't illegal) is finally out of his system. I think Karie Webb beat Rufus Wainwright in some sort of asexual pitching duel.

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