What you missed while shoplifting eight giant red hot pickled sausages, stealing a doughnut truck and ramming a University of Wisconsin police car. Oh, and your name is Warren Whitelightning ... (with video)
• Holiday Bowl: One For The Thumb ... Texas steamrolls ASU 51-34 despite Mack Brown's goofy stepson.
• NBA: Ray Allen's return to Seattle goes pretty much as expected ... Celtics 104, SuperSonics 96.
• NHL: Joffrey Lupul controls gravity, space and time ... Flyers 4, Maple Leafs 1.