MLB Page 1509 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

After Enough Time Had Passed, Cousin Itt Finally Forgave Them For Imploding The Vet
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

So, The FBI Stopped A Suspected Terrorist From Blowing Up Wrigley Field And Environs
A Lebanese man was arrested early Sunday and has been charged with one count each of attempted use of a weapon of mass destruction and attempted use of an explosive device after allegedly trying to blow up Wrigley Field. Typical Cardinals fan....

A Video Compilation Of Baseball's Dangerous Broken Bats
Following the unceremonious end to Tyler Colvin's season, Wezen-Ball put together a fairly succinct montage of dangerous broken bats that were put into play during MLB games. Baseball is the new Thunderdome. [Wezen-Ball]...

Here's a Video of a Cat on the Turntables
Meet DJ Kitty. He's kind of a rally monkey but from the looks at this official MLB video of him attempting to get Tampa Bay Rays fans to jumpjumpjump..., he's got strings all over him for marketing's sake. [MLB.com]...

Yep, a Chicago Cub Just Got Impaled on a Broken Bat
Tyler Colvin is in stable condition at a local hospital after being impaled in his upper left chest by a piece of broken bat during Sunday's game at Sun Life Stadium....

Did Ballhound Zack Hample Muscle Out a Kid For a Souvenir?
Ball-collector Zack Hample doesn't like paying $23 for a Mets ticket. But, he did like getting 21 Rawlings orbs on Friday. [Snagging Baseballs]...

Really Old Guy Doesn't Like Drama Queen Cheaters, So He Doesn't Like Derek Jeter
When Derek Jeter stole first pretending he'd been hit by a pitch, 87-year-old baseball-card-store "volunteer" Al Merrill didn't just get mad. He cost himself about a hundred bucks....

Analyst: Cardinals Quit With "Poopy in their Pants" and "Skid Marks in Their Britches"
Former St. Louis Cardinals outfielder, and current team anaylst, Jack "The Ripper" Clark has grown tired with the home nine's lack of effort. He isn't content just to mention that they're "quitters," though. He gets all diagnosis-y with it....

Troy Tulowitzki's Monster Month Undermined With A Dirty Song
Tulo hit his 10th and 11th home runs of the month yesterday and is leading the way for the surging Rockies. However, overshadowing Carlos Gonzalez's spectacular season is a real dick move. [Music via David Bartholomew]...

Baseball Player Acts Like Soccer Player, Inspires Existential Crises
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Pete Rose: “Don’t Do Like Me”
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Pete Rose....

Atlanta Braves Fans Are Filthier Than The Guys Using The John In Penn Station, Science Proves
"Only about two-thirds of the men observed washed their hands after using the restroom at Turner Field — the lowest rate for any of the locations cited in the observational study and survey on the hand-washing habits of Americans."...

Waino, Skip, And The Double Dutch Rudder
Sometimes, we post thoughtful and measured criticism of athletes and the media. Other times we post videos that make it look like two Cardinals players are beating each other off....

Rafael Nadal Digs Deep For A U.S. Open Victory
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Josh Hamilton Is Wary Of Victory Champagne
What happens if when the Rangers clinch the AL West? "I'm going to have goggles on, duct tape over the mouth and either a wetsuit or raincoat...I don't want to send the wrong message to people who might see pictures." [DMN]...

Pat White Has Taken His "Talents" To K.C.
The Dolphins released [former second-round pick Pat] White on September 4, and White passed through waivers unclaimed....

Boston Columnist Doth Question White Jesus' Free Ride, Pre-Kickoff Smiting Expected
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Fake Press Release Makes Worthless Cubs/Brewers Game Temporarily Interesting
How do you make a Cubs/Brewers interesting when they have a combined 126-155 record? You slip a fake press release supposedly written by Cubs GM Jim Hendry into the press pack! Here's a pic (via Paul Sullivan's Twitter) ......

Is It Foul If The Ball Hits John Smoltz's Pole?
During last night's Braves-Cardinals game, the crew in the booth flashed back to Sunday's TBS game to show a replay of John Smoltz getting plunked in the junk by an Adrian Beltre foul ball. Your move, Aaron Cook....