Beware English Soccer And Its Unclean Women

Napoli owner Aurelio De Laurentiis has a message for any of his players who are thinking about defecting to the Premiership:

"The English live badly, eat badly and their women do not wash their genitalia. To them, a bidet is a mystery.” Well, perhaps if they need some vinegar and water, they could just squeeze it out of him. [ Dirty Tackle]

Suck it, Luke Walton: UCLA's seventeenth man maybe didn't earn his roster spot the same way everyone else did. (He's John Wooden's great-grandson.) [ Rush The Court]

A two-sport athlete: Falcons fullback Ovie Mughelli can kick your ass at Halo. That's great, but shouldn't he also be able to kick my ass in football? [ Yardbarker]

Breaking wind: Titans fans are still coming to terms with Jeff Fisher's meteorological skills. [ Titans Tracker]

Where's Sgt. Slaughter when you need him?: Ahh yes, the rarely attempted throat slash-pants dropping combo goal celebration, with accompaniment by a deranged Italian announcer. It's an oldie, but a goodie. [ Rumors and Rants]