Caps Fans Skip Parody Videos, Move Straight To Priceless Masterpieces

Your morning roundup for April 26, the day we called a truce with the jellyfish kingdom.

•Memphis might totally win this series, you guys. They've got three more chances after blowing out San Antonio in the second half for an 18-point win. We can criticize the Spurs for playing boring basketball, but even the Showtime Lakers would pale in comparison to whatever unholy Mike Conley/Darrell Arthur-led offense the Grizz were running last night.

•After Mark Cuban told the bandwagoners to hop off the bandwagon, the Mavericks took care of business. Tyson Chandler took over down the stretch, and Dallas takes a 3-2 lead back to Portland. Maybe Cubes can find room for the bandwagoners? If football is indeed coming back, Metroplex residents can't keep pretending the Cowboys are good.

•Stayin' alive: the Nuggets. An insurmountainable lead, indeed.

•In injury news, Derrick Rose says he's ready to go tonight. Kobe, meanwhile, refused x-rays and MRIs on his ankle after Monday's loss, so you know he was faking it.

•Going to seven: the Lightning even things up with Pittsburgh. Meanwhile, Sidney Crosby accidentally looked at a desk lamp and gave himself a blinding headache.

•It was the seventh consecutive day with overtime hockey, but the Sharks didn't need much in the extra frame. Just two minutes in, after having killed off the remainder of a five-minute major, Joe Thornton put the rebound home and sent San Jose to the next round. All of Angelenos' hopes and dreams rest with the Lakers now, unlike before, when everyone was totally paying attention to the Kings and Ducks.

•While the owners wait for a judge to grant their stay, we technically don't have a lockout anymore. What this means, no one knows, except that the Bills are officially eliminated from playoff contention.

•Meanwhile, NBA players have enough votes to decertify their own union, so while there might be a lockout in basketball too, there's a precedent to keep it from lasting very long.

• College baseball fight!

•Gilbert Arenas up and left his girlfriend and four kids when he got traded to Orlando. According to a lawsuit, he also left a large unpaid mover's bill.

• Dan Snyder has an op-ed in today's , attempting to explain his lawsuit against City Paper. We'll have more on this later, obviously.

•Is Snyder a Caps fan? Because he's the only one I see shelling out $5000 for an oil painting of Capitals players, Bruce Boudreau, Ted Leonsis, and even former CSN reporter Lisa Hillary. [h/t Andrew]

A few stories you might've missed.

Denial: Luke Scott is, in many respects, an insane person. ESPN bends over backwards to pretend he's not.

Silliness: Chris Paul might have shaken the Dwight-Howard-trade-bait right out of Andrew Bynum.

Brown Notes: What we talk about when we talk about Franklin Gutierrez getting diagnosed with irritable bowel syndrome.