Do you happen to have Phillies centerfielder Shane Victorino's email address? If so, would like to hear from you. Unless, of course, his/her 6:53 p.m. correspondence is just some sort of meta statement as opposed to the first play of a wannabe Gil Renard who projects Shane as Bobby Rayburn.

A Reminder: When You Email Deadspin, You Are Contributing To Deadspin [Deadspin]