John Lackey Should Be In Jail

Before John Lackey gave up a walk-off three-run homer to Justin Turner in Game 2 of the NLCS, he treated viewers of the game to a special version of baseball hell.

Before getting his shit wrecked by Turner, Lackey threw six pitches to Chris Taylor. Due to Lackey’s seemingly compulsive inability to throw the ball to the plate in a timely manner, it took him five whole minutes to throw six pitches. Here is video of the entire sequence, sped up 500x normal speed out of respect for your time:

Lackey stepped off the mound five times during the at-bat, and things got really ridiculous when the count hit 3-2. From that point, it took Lackey a whole two minutes and 12 seconds to throw his next pitch. There were no pick-off attempts included in this sequence; Lackey just kept stepping off the mound and refusing to throw a damn pitch, and it was maddening. I imagine a lot of exhausted baseball fans were glad to see Turner end the game the way he did.