Locker Page 666 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Deadspin Up All Night: Make The Change
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Drink water....
Taco Bell's Dare Devil Loaded Grillers Are Brilliant And Gross, As Usual
Taco Bell is one of the few old-style American fast-food chains still thriving in a reshaped marketplace that increasingly rewards freshness, quality, and nutrition—or at least the perceptions thereof—rather than simply the thrift, speed, and suspect beef upon which the industry was built. The faux-...
<i>Sicario</i> Is An Unrelenting Horror Story Disguised As A Drug-War Action Movie
Sicario is a movie that rumbles. I mean that literally: Through the first half of the film, there’s rarely a scene in which something isn’t growling or grumbling in the background. Sometimes the sound comes from something big, like a passing APC engine or a helicopter blade, and sometimes from somet...
I Found <i>Purity</i>'s First Honest Paragraph, On Page 66
When last we met, Jonathan Franzen had mucked up the early pages of his novel Purity with repeated appraisals of the sex appeal of his main character, Pip. I was creeped out, but leaving room for the possibility that Franzen might be up to something that would redeem—or at least make some sense of—a...
How To Fix Your TV If You Couldn't See The Timeouts On <i>Monday Night Football</i>
A lot of people complained last night that ESPN’s new, flashy graphics system for Monday Night Football no longer showed how many timeouts each team had remaining. That’s not true! As you can see above, the timeouts are clearly displayed beneath each team’s logo. If you couldn’t see those, then your...
Scott Van Pelt Brought Back Ballimerese To Bring Tim Kurkjian To Uncontrollable Laughter
One of Scott Van Pelt’s recurring bits on radio was taunting fellow Maryland native Tim Kurkjian with that curious dialect known as “Ballimerese”—something that repeatedly made Kurkjian giggle like a little girl. Van Pelt brought it back tonight on SportsCenter, and it had the same effect....
Jackass Fights With Adrian Gonzalez For Foul Ball
So here’s some dickhead wearing a Red Sox cap fighting with Dodgers first baseman Adrian Gonzalez for a foul ball. Gonzalez won, but he was obviously pretty pissed off. And why shouldn’t he be? The Dodgers aren’t even playing the Red Sox!...
Classic Man: "Going Bald Is One Of The Most Severe Tests"
Frequently in this space, we will consult a different entry in the 1987 book The Modern Man’s Guide to Life to see how the advice therein has aged. Previously, we discussed how to tell if a lady is coming onto you; today, let’s talk tips for coping with baldness....
An Inflatable, Life-Size Ben Wallace, And Other Things You Bought While Drunk
According to a recent study on this very website, quite a few people make serious life decisions under the influence of alcohol. Go figure! On Friday, we asked our readers to tell us about the craziest things they’ve bought while drunk, and among the usual stuff (tattoos, memorabilia, and a subscrip...
Here's Will Ferrell's At-Bat In <i>Ferrell Takes The Field</i>, Which Was A Drag Otherwise
Spoiler Alert: They don’t really let Will Ferrell pitch in Ferrell Takes the Field, his stunt HBO doc where he plays every position (plus designated hitter) for 10 different MLB teams during one day of 2015 spring training action in Arizona. No, in his 90-second stint with the Dodgers, he throws one...
Miss America Takes Crown Thanks To Declaring That Tom Brady "Definitely Cheated"
Miss Georgia Betty Cantrell is your new Miss America, and she won the title shortly after responding to a Tom Brady ball-deflation question with: “If there was question there, then yes, I think he cheated.”...
Dutch Treat
Here’s Joan Acocella on Elmore Leonard in the latest issue of The New York Review of Books:...
Deadspin Up All Night: Scrape That Shit Right Off My Shoe
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Stick around, there’s football on and I made snacks....
Bucs Fans Boo Jameis
Seems Buccaneers fans are a bit impatient, as it took all of two quarters for them to boo their new starting quarterback. ...
The Miami Dolphins Are The First Team To Earn A Yakety Sax Treatment
Congratulations, Dolphins. This Boots’s for you....
Josh McCown Headed To Locker Room After Brownsiest Of Cleveland Browns Plays
Johnny Manziel’s readying to enter the game after Josh McCown took a hit to the head and fumbled the ball into the end zone. Can anything else capture the essence of the Cleveland Browns?...
Dizzy Bat Ends Spectacularly For This Bills Fan
This is not a long video, but still manages to define “wait for it.” Here’s a Mario Williams jersey-clad Bills fan making the most of his morning tailgate time with a round of Dizzy Bat that ends in the most wonderful fashion....