Locker Page 705 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
This Crazy-Ass New Beer Proves That India Pale Ale Will Never Die
Are you one of the weirdoes, poseurs, or stout-humpers who claims to be tired of India pale ale? If so, congratulations on being cool and condolences on being screwed, because IPAs are never going away. According to data released yesterday by Brewbound, America’s most popular craft-beer category sti...
We Made More Rap-Themed Sprite Cans
So Sprite, in conjunction with The Fader, is putting rap lyrics on its cans this summer, to honor a cultural synergy that stretches all the way from Kurtis Blow to A Tribe Called Quest to Drake. Which is a lovely tribute, sure, but the initial roster—Aubrey, Nas, Rakim, and a one-off from the Notori...
Mike Francesa And Caller Have Wonderful Conversation About LeBron's Dick
Today, Mike Francesa and regular caller Mike in Montclair talked about LeBron cutting his head on a camera and, in a separate event, showing his dick. Since the usual outline of Francesa’s show is “Mike Francesa’s coworkers and callers explain sports to Mike and get his reactions,” Mike in Montclair...
John Carpenter's <i>Assault On Precinct 13 </i>Is Ice Cold And Just Right
John Carpenter’s original Assault on Precinct 13 is one of the greatest zombie movies of all time, and there’s not a single zombie in it. The elements are all there: The chilling synth score, a cast of randoms thrown together by chance, an isolated siege site, the narrow escapes and eerie moments be...
Shaq: I'm Not Actually A 9/11 Truther
Shaquille O’Neal is disowning content posted on his personal blog and verified Facebook pages yesterday, claiming the company he contracted to pretend to be him online went rogue and that he is not and has never been a “9/11 truther.”...
Poll: Would You Have Sex With This Talking Sex Robot?
Sex is better when both people are having a good time, even when one of those people is a robot. So the next logical step there is that someone is building a sentient sex robot. Okay! It’s the future, and you’re now faced with a question: Would you do it with this hot bot? There are many possible an...
Stephen A. Smith Blames WWC Goal On "Not Wanting To Mess Up Their Hair"
It’s tiresome to monitor ESPN blowhard and domestic violence apologist Stephen A. Smith’s daily acts of polluting the Worldwide Leader’s airwaves with his Cro-Magnon attitudes, but here we are. While inexplicably serving on SportsCenter duty last night, SAS cracked wise on Norway’s gorgeous free kic...
Soccer Player Earns Straight Red For Double-Footed Nutshot
Sounders 2 defeated L.A. Galaxy II 1-0 last night in exciting USL action, but it was a slightly abbreviated evening for Sérgio Mota as the Brazilian midfielder earned a sending-off from the third-tier soccer match after hammering his opponent’s balls with both feet....
Who Was Andre Iguodala Trolling Last Night?
Andre Iguodala played a hell of a game last night, scoring 22 points as a key component of the Warriors’ deadly small-ball unit. He also sprinkled some not-so-subtle trolling into his performance late in the third quarter....
Please Stop Yelling At Timofey Mozgov, You Mean Old Man
If you weren’t already convinced that longtime NBA referee and albino rage-turtle Joey Crawford is the worst, please watch the clip above....
What Last Year's Spurs Taught The Warriors About Beating LeBron
The Warriors “unstoppable” small lineup is rightly getting credit for luring Cleveland into the faster-paced shootout Golden State always wanted to play. But who gets credit for starting Andre Iguodala for Andrew Bogut? Steve Kerr is willing to give it all to a 28-year-old he calls his “chief of sta...
Are The Warriors Just Too Deep For The Cavs? (Probably)
Even before Kyrie Irving was injured, the Cavaliers bench more closely resembled a basketball old folks home than something that could actually help a team in 2015. Kendrick Perkins? Brendan Haywood? Shawn Marion? Mike Miller? I’m not even sure who Joe Harris is....
Cleveland Weatherman Might Just Be Losing It, You Guys
Fresh off his bizarre antics a few days ago, WEWS chief meteorologist Mark Johnson turned his Cavaliers fandom up another notch on tonight’s late local news, as the ABC station’s weatherman brought a weed-whacker and a concrete block onto the set with him in reaction to tonight’s Cleveland loss. ...
Watch "Nature Boy" Ric Flair Attempt To Pump Up The Cleveland Crowd
On a day when we mourn the death of one of Ric Flair’s biggest rivals, the “Nature Boy” himself took the court during a first-half time out to try and pump up the crowd at Cleveland’s arena. He still has it... some of it. “WOOO!” ...
LeBron Cracks Head Open, Stays In Game
Despite falling into a camera and busting his head open, LeBron James managed to stay in tonight’s game. James’s head clearly sported some lacerations, but apparently owing to NBA rules he had no choice but to remain in the game and shoot his free throws....
Hey, Look: It's LeBron's Dick! (NSFW, Probably)
It sure appears ABC caught LeBron James making an adjustment just before tipoff of tonight’s Game 4:...
Shaquille O'Neal Is A 9/11 Truther, According To His Own Website
TNT host Shaquille O’Neal regularly delights audiences with his “Shaqtin’ A Fool” segment, but the Inside the NBA personality is probably due for a taste of his own medicine after revealing to the world this evening that he is a 9/11 truther....
LeBron Has Been A Damned Statistical Marvel In The Finals
There’s a way to look at Steph Curry’s stat line as an artifact of not just box score accounting, but his style. If you look closely, there are traces of the visceral experience of watching Steph double axel around a screen and fire up a three from the hip in arcane statistical whimsy, like fast bre...
Will Ferrell And Kristen Wiig Are Seriously Making A Lifetime Movie
This is not a drill: Will Ferrell and Kristen Wiig are making a Lifetime movie. It’s called The Deadly Adoption. Here is your trailer....
Dingy Goon Matthew Dellawhatever Is Giving Up Coffee Before Games
After being hospitalized for dehydration when Game 3 ended, War Boy with hair Matthew Dellavedova says he’ll skip his usual tradition of having coffee before a game and during halftime, because he thinks it might be affecting his on-court performance....