Locker Page 801 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
We Figured Out How To Shoehorn Kim Kardashian's Shiny Ass Onto Our Site
All week, we've been wondering how we could get Kim Kardashian's large, glistening ass on Deadspin. She didn't make it easy for us, did she? She could've held a football, for instance. Or she could've scheduled a mountain stage of the Tour de France along her adductors. Kim did no such thing, howeve...
I Finally Watched <em>Dumb And Dumber</em>, And I'm Smarter For It
We all have one or two movies we haven't quite gotten around to yet, even though practically everyone else in the world has; mine include Forrest Gump, Saving Private Ryan, Braveheart, and, until this week, Dumb and Dumber. Wednesday night, I stumbled across that one on Netflix and decided to fina...
Foodies Claim Non-Artisanal Flour Is Poisoning You
For centuries, man has suffered under the unyielding tyranny of the automated mill and its proponents, who have consigned him to flavorless, unethical, and possibly poisonous baked goods. At last salvation is at hand, though, through the good offices of the artisanal food movement!...
Hold X To Kick Spacey's Ass: Defending <em>Call Of Duty: Advance Warfare</em>
Last night I watched in horror as high-tech commandos blew up the Golden Gate Bridge, sending huge chunks of my city's signature landmark showering down onto a fleet of Navy vessels. Burst-jumping down the bike lane I've personally used many times, I did my best to stop the atrocity. Alongside my ...
So Stupid It Just Might Work: <em>Dumb And Dumber To</em>, Reviewed
1. Before you get too wrapped up in the negative early reaction to Dumb and Dumber To, the 20-years-later sequel to the 1994 mega-hit, remember that critics hated the first one. Critics are notoriously bad at predicting what comedies are going to stand the test of time; the target is always moving...
This Coast-To-Coast Andre Iguodala Dunk Is Gorgeous
Blah blah slow news day boogity boogity traveling bork bork bork not a real dunk durr bad defense mew mew mew....
Steph Curry Hits A Cool-Ass 40-Foot Warmup Shot From The Tunnel
Guys take weirdo shots from all over in warmups, and if you go to a ton of games, this is maybe something you see a few times a year. But look man, if you're not down with watching Steph flop in a 40-footer and signing autographs as it falls, I don't know what to tell you. ...
Hoop Dreams, Rap Nightmares: Revisiting <em>B-Ball's Best Kept Secret</em>
There's no semblance of a barrier between professional athletes and rappers today, but that wasn't the case in 1994. Long before Ron Artest put out his own mixtape or Damian Lillard dominated #FourBarFridays, the NBA's biggest stars were only just beginning to tiptoe into the studio, with oft-disa...
Gotta Protect Those Regional "Dew Tour" Broadcast Rights
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Joakim Noah To Derrick Rose Critics: "Chill The Fuck Out"
No one in Chicago is talking about the third quarter of last night's Bulls game, when the team held the Toronto Raptors to 14 points right in front of Drake and God. Everyone is, rather, talking about the fourth quarter, when Derrick Rose left what was on the verge of becoming a nearly close game a...
Michael Carter-Williams, Professed Non-Tanker, Tanks
The 76ers are a sorry excuse for a professional sports franchise. Last season they had the second worst record in the league. During the draft this offseason they had two top-12 picks, and chose to take a guy that has a season-long injury and a guy that is going to play in Europe this year. They'v...
Buzzer-Beating Tip-In Winner Called Good After Five Minutes Of Replay
The Memphis Grizzlies somehow pulled out a 111-110 win tonight at home over the Kings thanks to a buzzer-beating inbound pass-to-tip-in from Vince Carter to Courtney Lee with just 0.3 seconds remaining. It then took officials nearly five minutes to declare the basket good and to allow the Griz to ce...
Derrick Rose Is Injured, Again
Derrick Rose appears to be out for the game after hurting his leg late in tonight's matchup in Toronto against the Raptors. I know, that seems impossible to believe. But it's true! Here's the evidence so you can see it for yourself. ...
Ahhhh Jesus
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Tony Allen So Excited To Enter Game, He Forgot To Take His Shirt Off
NBA uniforms have gotten pretty ridiculous lately, but we aren't quite to the point where players are competing in their warmup shirts. That didn't stop the Grizzlies' Tony Allen from trying to enter tonight's game against the Kings while still sporting his warmups....
Former NBA'er A "Heavily Armed Heroin Addict" With Grenade Launcher
Last month police raided the home of one Trygve Lief Bjorkstam and found drugs, guns, prostitutes...and former Sonics center Robert Swift. According to KOMO News police have finally charged Swift with a gun crime in connection with the raid after a "military-style grenade launcher" (!!) and sawed-...
NBA Commissioner Announces Support For Legalized Sports Gambling
NBA Commissioner Adam Silver has broken ranks with his sports executive brethren, and announced his support for an expansion of legalized sports gambling in the United States in a New York Times op-ed. Silver points out that, despite its widespread illegality, sports gambling is a massive, and growi...
Report: Penn State Football Was Almost Given The Death Penalty
Another day, another embarrassing set of e-mails made public by the ongoing lawsuit by Pennsylvania state officials against the NCAA over the 2012 sanctions imposed upon Penn State in the Jerry Sandusky case, and this time it's a big one. According to the Associated Press, a 2012 e-mail from NCAA at...
Deadspin Up All Night: Catching Feelings
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<em>Django Unchained</em> Gave Us The Quentin Tarantino Gunfight Of Our Dreams
Quentin Tarantino loves action movies in all their forms: ritualistic Hong Kong martial-arts epics, '70s car-chase odysseys, terse and meditative Japanese gangster flicks. He hires the stars of those old movies, and he peppers his own films with references in just about every way he can manage. But ...