Locker Page 843 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Steve Ballmer Carried On Like A Maniac At The Clippers' Fan Festival
Steve Ballmer, who just bought the Los Angeles Clippers for $2 billion and is also that guy who screamed "DEVELOPERS! DEVELOPERS! DEVELOPERS!" at a conference one time, greeted Clippers fans at a fan festival today. He spent a good portion of his speech screaming like a crazy person, obviously....
If You Don't Want To Watch A Guy Fuck A Snake, Here's A Description
A video file by the name of snakefucker.mp4 is making its way around Twitter today. As you can guess by its name, it's a video of a man apparently fucking a snake. If you want to watch the video—which, let's be clear, depicts what is almost certainly an illegal act of animal abuse—it is located here...
Glasshole Wants You To Wear A Computer On Your Face While You Cook
National Geographic magazine, a mail-order Caring About Things merit badge for baby boomers, has been running a "Future of Food" series on the Plate, its food blog, for the past few months. This month's entry was written by Mary Beth Albright, an attorney, food writer, and former contestant on Food...
An Apologist's Guide To Orange Hi-C
"Love is a smoke and is made with the fume of sighs," said Shakespeare. And I sigh until my chest hurts every time I drink orange Hi-C's sweet nectar. But only at McDonald's....
When Yankee Stadium's Bleacher Creatures Were Wild
Ivan Solotaroff spent much of the summer of 1988 hanging out in the bleachers at Yankee Stadium. It was a different time: The Bronx wasn't hospitable to, well, anyone back then. This was before the Disneyfication of Manhattan, before Rudy Giuliani, before Brooklyn became a Mecca of gentrification. Y...
Why Your Team Sucks 2014: Oakland Raiders
Some people are fans of the Oakland Raiders. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Oakland Raiders. This 2014 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group....
Guy Loses Fantasy League, Has To Make Embarrassing Photo Calendar
This is a pretty great way to punish the person who comes in last in your fantasy league. Instead of merely living with shame in the abstract, make it tangible (and practical!) with a calendar full of embarrassing photoshops, like naked Prince Fielder....
West Ham Idiot Runs Length Of Pitch, Takes Free Kick For Spurs
An Idiot On The Field invaded the pitch at Upton Park today, and made the most of his time in the spotlight: he took a crucial free kick for the visiting Tottenham Hotspur....
How To Cook Pork Belly, Which Thoroughly Kicks Bacon's Ass
Albert Burneko is off. Your guest Foodspinner is pudding defender and friend of the program Miserable Shitehawk....
Deadspin Up All Night: Tell Me When To Go
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Bounce....
Police: Drunk 13-Year-Old Drove Around Car Full Of Kids
A 13-year-old driving a car full of kids around Wisconsin is strange and cheeky, but a drunk 13-year-old?...
These Lil-Ass Bears Are Cuter Than Hell
Damn, man, get a load of these tiny bears. Those are some tiny bears! ...
We're All Doomed, But Burger King's Chicken Fries Are Back!
Shit week, huh? But chin up! The weekend's almost here, the cops haven't gotten around to killing every single last one of us yet, and Burger King has brought back Chicken Fries....
Kings Sign That Humongous Dude From The NCAA Tournament
Oh hey, it's that one guy! ...
Let It Be Demolished: Paul McCartney Shuts Down Candlestick Park
Paul McCartney is like the Grand Canyon, or bangers and mash: There's no sexing him up. At 72, he's the rare individual for whom the phrase "living legend" feels like kind of a slight. Bigger than Jesus? Quite possibly. But how many records did Jesus ever sell, and what has he done for you lately? T...
Why Your Team Sucks 2014: Kansas City Chiefs
Some people are fans of the Kansas City Chiefs. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Kansas City Chiefs. This 2014 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group....
How Do I Clean Up All This Mouse Poop?
Jolie Kerr is a cleaning expert and advice columnist. She'll be here once a month to answer your filthiest questions. ...
Deadspin Up All Night: No Way!
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. We'll let you know if anything happens....
Which NBA Teams Have The Hardest And Easiest Schedules?
Yesterday, the NBA released its schedule, and everyone rushed to talk about when the big games are happening (Christmas) and where (Miami). But who got the easiest rides, and who got screwed? ...