Locker Page 854 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Watch A Bunch Of Dumb Pandas Fall On Their Faces And Butts
We gave that dumbass goat a lot of grief for being stupid and uncoordinated, but we shouldn't lose sight of the fact that pandas are often clumsier than even the dumbest-ass goat. ...
Ole Miss QB Says Players Go To Bed Hungry
In late March, UConn's Shabazz Napier caused a stir when he said there were some nights he went to bed hungry. People scoffed at the idea of a star player not being able to find an open dining hall or afford food on his own, but a couple weeks later–total coincidence on the timing–the NCAA changed i...
Down Goes Terror: How A Frightened George Foreman Shocked Joe Frazier
Excerpted from Bouts of Mania: Ali, Frazier, and Foreman—and an America on the Ropes. ...
Pouty Husband Sends Wife Spreadsheet Detailing Sex-Life Dissatisfaction
Reddit user throwwwwaway29 has a husband, and her husband is fed up. He is so fed up that this morning he sent her an email that contained the above spreadsheet, detailing all the times she has denied him sex over the course of the last month or so....
Fast-Food Fight: Subway's Pulled Pork Vs. Wendy's Pretzel Bacon Burger
There are three main founts of greasy innovation whence spring the majority of new fast-food items. The bulk originate in the wide and shallow Same Shit, Different Condiments pool; they are joined by more ambitious offerings from the genres of Cynical Stunt Food and Honest-to-Ronald Attempts to Intr...
Hey, go read a terrific examination of the Lance Stephenson problem, from Jack Hamilton over at Slate: "The sheen has once again come off Lance Stephenson, but the fact is that the sheen is always coming off Lance Stephenson—this is the perpetual state of the young man everyone wanted until they did...
The NFL Is Doing Its Best To Protect Its Free Minor League
The NFL has confirmed that it will drastically change its system for giving feedback to potential draft prospects, in an effort to limit the number of underclassmen entering the draft. It's being framed as in the kids' best interest, but it seems to me the schools and the NFL are the ones coming out...
"Weird Al" Yankovic's <em>Mandatory Fun</em> Is Not The End (We Hope)
Does anyone actually hate "Weird Al" Yankovic? You'll usually find two reactions to him: adoration or indifference, with the indifference mostly confined to wayward millennials. Considering that he's been churning out parodies (and originals!) for nearly 35 years, that in itself is impressive. He'...
Tracy McGrady's Baseball Career Ends After About Two Months
Roughly two months after Tracy McGrady's debut as a baseball player, the former NBAer has retired. Looking back at his career, one thing's certain: Tracy McGrady was definitely a person who played minor league baseball for two months. ...
Prankster Poses As Ukraine Eyewitness, Calls MSNBC Host "Dumbass"
MSNBC's Krystal Ball couldn't foresee being called a "dumbass" by a prankster posing as an eyewitness to today's MH17 flight disaster, even after the guest—claiming to be stationed at the U.S. embassy in Kiev—claimed the plane was shot down by "a blast of wind from Howard Stern's ass."...
Chick-Fil-A's Grilled Chicken: The Emilio Estevez Of Chicken Sandwiches
Eating at Chick-fil-A is always a personal conflict. How do you decide between its super-friendly employees and quality food on the one hand, and the antiquated social views at the top of the company on the other? For the sake of loyal Foodspinners, I put that conflict aside to to help mediate an...
What Are New York City's Most Popular Dog Names?
What's the typical New York dog? Is it a yippy little terrier named Lucky leaving little brown obstacles for Upper East Side pedestrians? Is it a retriever named Bella tolerating the demon children of Park Slope? Is it a shih tzu named Gizmo humping joggers' legs in Van Cortlandt Park? We took a l...
"Next Week ... Is My Seventh Funeral For Someone Younger Than Me"
Drew Magary's piece this week on over-competitive kids (and parents) mentioned Fairfax, Va.'s prestigious W.T. Woodson High School, where six students have committed suicide in the past three years. Below is a lengthy, remarkable letter we've received from Ryan Mull, a recent Woodson graduate. ...
Hacking Still Sucks: On <em>Watch Dogs</em> And Next-Gen-Console Malaise
The promise of Watch Dogs was simple, and explained much of the anticipation leading up to the wantonly hyped prestige video game's May release: Finally—finally! (finally?)—someone was going to make hacking cool. In this case, it was the developer Ubisoft, whose ambition to make coding as engrossi...