Locker Page 939 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Josh Smith And The Deeply Constipated Offense Of The Detroit Pistons
Coming into this season, the Detroit Pistons were flagged by a lot of advanced metrics as a likely candidates for a sneaky good year. Instead, Detroit, and especially its offense, has been among the most comically misshapen teams in recent history. ...

Dwight Howard Ate All The Sugar
There was a very odd, long story on CBS Sports earlier this week that read uncomfortably like an infomercial for "Dr. Cate" Shanahan, an inventor of a pseudo-paleodiet who's been brought on by the Lakers as a nutritional consultant. I want to bring this passage about Dwight Howard to your attention....

Tom Seaver And Pat Jordan: The Sunshine Boys
Over at Sports on Earth Pat Jordan has a nice long story about his recent trip to California to visit his old chum Tom Seaver:...

The 2013 Hater's Guide To The Williams-Sonoma Catalog
I have a house and, like most houses, it’s an unfinished work. There are cracks in the paint. There are piles of old clothes and shoes exploding out of the laundry room, which doubles as a storage room because we don’t have a storage room. The walls in our bedroom are bare because we haven’t had tim...

The House of Beretta
In the rooms where the engravers work their drawings into the steel of a shotgun's receiver, the meditative strike of their hammers on the heads of their chisels makes a tick-tick-tick-Tick-TICK that you might first think was coming from a woodpecker's drilling on a tree. The tones are woodsy, with ...

Peter Sellers in Lolita > Peter Sellers in Dr. Strangelove
Claire Quilty: I get the impression that you want to leave but you don't like to because you think I think it looks suspicious, me being a policeman and all. You don't have to think that because I haven't got a suspicious mind at all. A lot of people think I'm suspicious, especially when I stand on...

Mark Emmert Rowed Back On The One-And-Done Rule Today
NCAA president Mark Emmert spoke at a public forum earlier today, and he said some surprising things about the one-and-done rule that prevents high school basketball players from skipping college and jumping straight to the NBA. ...

Trying To Be The Best
"Bill Heinz is a walking contradiction of the stereotype of the phlegmatic Teuton. He is emotional and demonstrative. He can sink into depressions so deep they would give a sandhog the bends. His highs are several stories high. As cityside reporter, war correspondent, sports columnist, freelance jou...

This Hilarious Knicks Fan's Rant Is The Epitome Of Knicks Fandom
Believe it or not, the Knicks' 41-point loss to the Celtics this Sunday has at least one fan fed up. This video from said disgruntled fan could be the new manifesto for Knicks fandom nation-wide. While it's probably in some part staged, everything "Billy" says is gospel....

The Heat Still Have A Roy Hibbert-Sized Problem In Indiana
Last night's Heat-Pacers game marked the first time the two teams had met since last season's Eastern Conference Finals, a thrilling seven-game series that the Pacers nearly stole by driving a mack truck with the number 55 on it through the Heat's undersized front court. If the game proved anything,...

A Face Only A Hockey Puck Could Love
Once upon a time, NHL goalies played without masks. Unsurprisingly, their faces often got all fucked up. In 1966, LIFE published an article, "The Goalie Is the Goat," that not only aimed to put a human countenance on "hockey's reviled and bludgeoned fall-guys," but featured a photo of what looked li...

NAIA Allows Thunder Fan To Keep $20,000 Prize From Halfcourt Shot
Good news! This is no longer bullshit....

Classic College Football Programs With Character
So in case you don't know from A Continuous Lean do yourself a favor and check it out. It's a consistently smart, stylish, and elegant place. ...

Deadspin Up All Night: When The Champagne's On Tap
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Go have some fun tonight. ...

Deadspin NBA Shit List: Kendrick Perkins, Anti-Fun
A celebration of the NBA's most infuriating players, both past and present. Read other NBA Shit List entries here....

Can I Cook Italian Food For Italian Guests?
Welcome to the Feedbag, where all the dumb questions about food, drink, cooking, eating, and accidental finger removal you've been embarrassed to ask can finally receive the berating they goddamn deserve. Also: answers. Send all your even-vaguely-food-related questions to [email protected] wit...

Here's A Goalkeeper Training By Getting Shot With Actual Cannons
This is from the Slovenian fourth division team SD Gorisnica, but it may as well be Wile E Coyote. ...

Angell Gets the J.G. Taylor Spink Award
David Remnick approves. ...

Jason Kidd And Lawrence Frank Were Doomed From The Start
David Aldridge reveals new details on the breakdown between Nets coach Jason Kidd and highly paid assistant Lawrence Frank, and there are two immediate conclusions to be drawn: This unequal partnership was always destined for spectacular failure, and Kidd brought it on himself....
