Locker Page 957 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

A Wink At A Homely Girl
If you don't have good dreams, Bagel, you've got nightmares....

The Greatest Slugger Never To Play In The Major Leagues
As David Ortiz adds to his legend this week—the version that omits any mention of PEDs, of course—let's take a moment to appreciate John Schulian's 2000 SI profile of Josh Gibson:...

How Good Was The Lakers Bench Last Night?
Last night's Lakers win was unusual for any number of reasons, but the biggest story is the unlikely performance by LA's bench. How well did they play last night? Here's a very quick—and slightly unique—look at the numbers of the five players on the court for the fourth quarter. ...

Charles Barkley Has The Most Accurate Playoff Picks
[via Reddit]...

Guy Fieri Flips Out On His Hairdresser, Which Makes Good Sense
Presumably in the immediate aftermath of his first visit to an optometrist in more than a decade, anthropomorphized Lime-A-Rita Guy Fieri and his hairdresser had a bit of a tiff in broad public view, leading to crying and shouting and embarrassment, not unlike what happens when you spend more than t...

Watch Iman Shumpert Get A Very Somber Haircut
Iman Shumpert shaved off his signature flat top a few weeks ago, and everyone was kind of bummed about it. But nobody took the event more seriously that Shumpert himself, as evidenced by the extremely earnest vignette above....

How Many NBA Name Drops Can You Pick Out In This Song?
Here is "Jumpin' Out The Gym," a song from Migos, Riff Raff, and Trinidad James. Not only does the new video (which you can watch here, it's not embeddable) feature tons of NBA highlights, the song itself is littered with NBA name drops. See how many you can pick out!...

The Unlikeliest Lakers Win The Battle Of Los Angeles
Human sacrifice, cats and dogs living together, and the Lakers bench dominating the Clippers starters in the season opener. The NBA is back, and it is weird....

Chris Bosh Creeps On Not One, But Two Interviews
The Bosh has returned, and he's kicking off the season with a double Video-Bosh....

Deadspin Up All Night: I Want To Start A New Life
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Samer's on deck....

The Main Ingredient: How 'Bout Dem Apples?
Apple season is here....

A Christmas Carol And The Yankee Stadium Ticket Stub
Today gives a choice find over at Forgotten Bookmarks. ...

Random Football Rap Lyric Of The Day
In honor of Ghostface's first record, released on this date in 1996....

Your Chinese Street-Food Was Probably Cooked In Poop Oil
Well, this is horrifying. Street vendors in China have taken to using something called "gutter oil"—quite literally the oil gathered from gutter runoff, dumpster sludge, garbage juice, and untreated fucking sewage fuck fuck fuck—to cook food for human consumption. And then unwitting humans are con...

Do Fat People Make Better Restaurant Recommendations?
Your letters:...

Chris Bosh Is Getting Ornery For Some Reason
The NBA season starts tonight, so journalistic outlets the world over are publishing stories on the Miami Heat, because last year they repeated as champions, and this year they could three-peat as champions, and LeBron James and Michael Jordan and legacy and narrative. ...

NBA Stat Guru Kevin Pelton On Greg Oden, The Fraudulent Knicks, And More
Kevin Pelton is one of the smartest guys covering the NBA, and his SCHOENE projection system is one of the best predictive tools in NBA analytics. He was nice enough to answer a few questions about the upcoming NBA season....

Californians Fail To Appreciate Inescapable, Burning Sriracha Odor
Officials of the city of Irwindale—a California town presumably situated in the ominous shadow of a Huy Fong Foods factory that looms all flecked with lightning and emitting constant spooky organ music atop the local hill—have filed suit against the makers of the delicious sriracha chili sauce, for ...

Donald Sterling Is Still Doing What He Can To Sink The Clippers
Clipper fans, here is a sobering reminder that despite the fact that your team is better than it has ever been and is poised to supplant the Lakers as the toast of L.A., you are still rooting for a franchise that is owned by a racist shitbag who will always be this close to ruining everything....

Book Excerpt: Shane Comes To The Metrodome
We've got a bunch of goodies for you this week on Monsters, Rich Cohen's winning new book about the 1985 Chicago Bears. First, dig this excerpt over at SI.com:...