McDonald's New Smack Attack

We've said it before and we'll say it again: if there's one problem with people today, it's that they don't talk enough smack. It's "Thank you" this and "Pardon me" that and "So sorry I sat on your tiny dog, madam." Whatever happened to "Feel my Wrath!" and "Taste the turf!"? Our friends at McDonald's — hip as ever — were wondering about that as well. And because they have their fat, greasy fingers on the pulse of America, the fast food behemoth has come up with Smack Talk, the online application in which you invent a football coach, outfit him with facial features, clothing and custom smack talk, and email the whole thing to a friend. Because like we said, kids today are just too civil. We tried it, with predictable results. Aside from the fact that our coach had only one ear and looked as if he had just been tending wolverines, he was also sadly deficient in the area of smack talk. The only things we could get him to say were: "Nice effort, Steve," and "Can you direct me to the nearest restroom?" But yeah: This thing is a good negative-four seconds of fun.

I Talk Smack [McDonald's]