Nike's US Division Defeats Nike's Spanish Division at Company Picnic

Jesus H. on a medal stand. While you were sleeping, the United States and Spain put on an offensive show that impressed the inventors of fireworks themselves. Both teams combined for 225 points in a mere 40 minutes of action that moved so quickly that the paint on the hardwood melted. The United States won 118-107, but this game didn't reach safe ground until the final minute. This gold-medal final had a dress code: defense optional. The U.S. couldn't quite seem to remember that floating jumpers and second shots defined the Spanish offensive arsenal, allowing Marisa Gasol's womb to score 31. Spain... well, we're not sure there's an equivalent word in Spanish to "defense". The U.S. hit 60% of their shots; Spain 50%. If anyone fusses at you that the United States failed in any capacity in this contest... well, that pick-and-roll matter is up for discussion. Otherwise, know that Spain reached up to the best and not the other way 'round. In Nike's USA Basketball commercial for these Games, Marvin Gaye's brilliant 1983 NBA All-Star Game rendition of the National Anthem has been trimmed for space considerations and to emphasize the unity (through clapping) at the end. Most people forget the boos at the beginning of his version, though. By the end, though, those that cast stones were drowned out by those that loved it. Here, those that felt the need to absolve these multimillionaires of perceived sins can no longer be heard over the beauty of the game played and those that love them for it. Also of note: David Beckham can find cheerleaders anywhere in the world. He managed to make it to the game and the Chinese cheerleaders managed to entertain him at halftime. It's a symbiotic relationship. Finally, If you want to know who's the top in the NBC-IOC alphabet soup love affair, Doug Collins (noted medal ditcher) is allowed to attend Olympic events in an official capacity.