Patriots In A Major Sporting Event That You Can Actually Cheer For

mjdeadspin|published: Sat 1st April, 17:42 2006

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It's getting to be about that time. George Mason vs. Florida will be tipping off about 20 minutes after this is posted. I'll be sticking with you through both games, dear friends, so feel free to hang around, get down in the comments, or e-mail me with any thought you have about the game, the broadcast, or any other damn thing you want.

And listen, I hope you're rooting for George Mason. If you're not, there are only a few good excuses for you.

1) You could win a life-changing sum of money in a pool if Florida wins this game. Not just some money. Not just enough to get you drunk. But a lot of money. 2) You attend Florida University, are related to someone on the team, are having sex with someone on the team, or are Billy Donovan's maid. 3) The movie "Hoosiers" somehow ruined your life, and you now hate all underdogs. 4) You can't get over the fact that George Mason himself was actually a slaveowner. 5) You're the guy that George Mason guard Tony Skinn punched in the balls. http://sports.espn.go.com/ncb/news/story?id=2355822 6) You enjoy murdering puppies.

There may be some others, but I can't think of them. Otherwise, I think you have to root for George Mason. Or your soul is an empty, rotten, thing.

Here comes basketball.