You could forward through the first 1:55 of this clip to get to the yelling and the screaming and the oh-so-many bad words. You could. But you shouldn't, because the buildup is what makes the explosion so great. Calm, helpful strategy gives way to praise for the one player who shot a decent round, to violently RIPPING the team a new one.
Last month the D-III Hawks of Huntingdon College, a Methodist school in Montgomery, Ala., traveled to Ohio for the Gordin Classic. It didn't go so hot; they finished 11th out of 12. On the bus ride back, head coach Matt Mahanic (who mistakenly believed the team finished last) tore into them. This reportedly wasn't his first rant, but this time, someone on the bus was recording. At least 10 email forwards later, it's made its way to us. Some highlights:
"That is fucking horrendous. Horrendous that nobody can shoot fucking par on that golf course. That is the most fucking embarrassed I've ever been in my life, having to walk around that fucking scoreboard and look at those other fucking coaches—Fucking 11 teams beat us this week! Eleven fucking teams! Goddamnit!"
"I gotta fucking go up there and watch that bullshit you four call golf! Like watching fucking paint dry! My dad looked and me and said, 'Why the fuck are you recruiting these kids?'"
"I'm ready to lose my fucking mind. There is no fucking helping you! ...Fucking not a big deal, though. It's not a big deal. Fucking hunky-dory."
"We fucking don't deserve shit. Fucking—we haven't broke 300 all year. Four fucking chances in nice weather, and we haven't broken 300 yet. Fuck me."
"I don't want to hear a fucking word out of anybody until we get back to Kentucky[?]. Put your fucking headphones on, go to sleep, I don't give a shit. I had to watch you play golf for the last 54 fucking holes. Please do not let me hear your fucking voice right now."
All of which is to say, D-III golf is serious business. The Hawks would head to their next tournament in Florida...and finish 12th.
Update, 11/9: And Mahanic has been fired.