Seperate But Equal Casual Racism

Made uncomfortable by Martellus Bennett's Black Olympics? Maybe the Summer Redneck Games are for you! They're being held today just off of Boatramp Road in East Dublin, Ga.

They've got a full day of events planned, from "12:30 - 1:00 Lance Stinson Band" to "9:30 - 10:00 Fireworks The End" and everything in between. What's in between, you ask, while simultaneously booking your last-minute flight to Middle George Regional Airport? I'm glad you asked.

First up is redneck horseshoes, which I assume is much like regular horseshoes while a second-rate comedian makes jokes at your expense as a red-state audience laughs because they look down on you, but secretly, they're dying a little inside because they see some of themselves in your quirks.

After bobbin' for pig's feet, a watermelon seed spitting contest, and the mudpit belly flop comes something called the "armpit seranade[sic]." Entertainment, or competition? Both, my friend. Both.

And don't go home yet, because "8:30 - 9:00 This is the main Band will play till after Firework."

$5 admission, no glass bottles. And it goes without saying there are no Winter Redneck Games.

Y'all get set for a belly floppin' time at the Redneck Games [Macon Telegraph]