Soccer Page 310 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Both Of Lionel Messi's Feet Must Be Made Of Glue
Let's ignore the video of Lionel Messi's second goal today for a minute, and just stare at the picture above. That's the world's best left foot plucking a screaming ball out of the air as casually as a frog would an unexpecting fly, or Odell Beckham would a lobbed duck of a pass in pregame warm-up...
Yaya Touré Is Back To Smashing In The Goals
It was a bit of a shaky start for Yaya Touré this season, and as Manchester City's best player, it's meant a bit of a shaky start for the club. But today's match against Crystal Palace saw him back to the position he's most comfortable in, finishing off a perfectly worked counter by bludgeoning th...
Lots Of Things Happened In Soccer In 2014 And Here Are Many Of Them
From the good folks at Project Babb, here's your soccer year in review, in easy-to-digest, self-aware musical parody form....
Marco Reus Fined $670,000 For Driving Without A License
German paper Bild reports (paywall) that Borussia Dortmund star Marco Reus has been fined €540,000 after police discovered he had been driving without a license for the past three years. Apparently Reus received five speeding tickets during that time, but somehow police never figured out that he a...
Tim Howard Retracts Book Claim That Brad Friedel Tried To Sabotage Him
Tim Howard has announced that he will alter future editions of his just-published book, in response to Brad Friedel's complaint that the book unfairly and inaccurately claims that Friedel attempted to block Howard's move to the Premier League. This decade-old goalkeeper feud still burns brightly, ap...
Giroud Is A Wizard
Sure, Olivier Giroud is unmarked, but that's a marvelous angle....
Soccer Player Struck By Lightning, Thought Dead, Says He Survived
Joao Contreras Fuentes is either one lucky son of a bitch or tops on God's shit list, take your pick. He was playing soccer for the club Sport Aguila in the Copa Peru when a bolt of lighting leaped from Zeus' fingertip and basically erased Fuentes in the fashion of blowing out a candle. The bolt ign...
Joey Barton Received A Death Threat From An Angry Frenchman
On Twitter today, veteran QPR midfielder Joey Barton dug up a a death threat from last year, during his loan to Marseille. It's violent!...
This Is The Soccer Flop To End All Soccer Flops
Leeds United took on Derby County over the weekend, and that's not at all interesting except for the fact that the game gave us a truly glorious flop....
Violence Erupts At Jalisco Stadium After Monterrey Knocks Off Atlas
Atlas and Monterrey supporters clashed with each other and police following tonight's 2-0 Monterrey win that moved Los Rayados into the Liga MX playoff semifinals. Univision Deportes reported multiple police suffered injuries, while others formed a protective shield around Monterrey supporters to pr...
Kevin Mirallas's Beautiful Curling Goal Was Right Out Of A Video Game
After a well-cleared cross from a free kick near the box, Everton's Kevin Mirallas collected the ball and crushed this shot, bending it perfectly into the far corner of Tottenham's goal. You can almost feel how hard he was squeezing the finesse shot button....
Argentine Soccer Broadcaster Is A Rollercoaster Of Emotions
Make sure you have turned YouTube's closed captioning on, and then watch this glorious video of an Argentine second division match from February. When Talleres de Córdoba scores in the 89th minute, the homer broadcaster sings a lyrical description straight out of Galeano (well, not quite). When Almi...
Manchester City's Messiah Sergio Agüero Pulls Another Resurrection Act
Twenty minutes into Manchester City's crucial home Champions League match against Bayern Munich on Tuesday, it looked like everything had broken right for the English champions. Earlier in the day, in the other matchup in City's group, Roma somehow contrived to draw a game they really should've won,...
Watch Messi Break The All-Time La Liga Scoring Record
Lionel Messi became the top scorer in La Liga history with this 72nd minute goal against Sevilla, his second of the game. It was Messi's 252nd league goal, which topped Athletic Bilbao legend Telmo Zarra's 251, who did most of his damage in the 1940s. A few minutes later Messi got his hat trick, s...
Here's Wayne Rooney's Cute Little Son Doing A Cute Little Cartwheel
After his second goal in the England-Scotland match earlier this week, Wayne Rooney celebrated by doing a cartwheel. Today, he revealed the inspiration behind the move by posting an Instagram video of his son Kai's favorite new move:...
Zinedine Zidane No Longer Has To Pretend Not To Coach Team He Coaches
A couple months ago, we told you about how Zinedine Zidane, manager of Real Madrid Castilla, was under investigation for not having the proper coaching qualifications. The Frenchman had two ways to fight the impending punishment: either cadge up the qualifications or deny that he was actually the ma...
Xabi Alonso Forced To Apologize To Ronaldo For Stupid, Fake Controversy
Remember that dumb story Real Madrid pitched to their stooges at Marca yesterday, where some milquetoast statements of Xabi Alonso's were folded, kneaded, and ultimately transformed into direct insults to former teammates Cristiano Ronaldo and Iker Casillas? Well, it worked....
Shitty Swiss Team Cuts 11 Players After Youth Team Blows Them Out 10-0
FC Grenchen, of Switzerland's fourth division, suck at soccer. In their last nine matches, they've collected all of zero points while shipping 66—yes, 66—goals, 10 of which came at the feet of FC Luzern's youth squad. Following that horrific result, Grenchen's sporting director decided to cut 11 pla...
Wigan Owner Doubles Down On New Manager's Racism And Antisemitism
Wigan Athletic courted controversy this week by hiring Malky Mackay, who is under investigation by the FA for assorted bigoted and offensive text messages that were sent more than a year ago but came to light over the summer. Wigan owner Dave Whelan spoke with the Guardian today, and offered a defen...
DC Comics Claims Valencia's New Crest Looks Too Much Like Batman Logo
Holy intellectual property law, Batman, why are you beefing with this Spanish soccer team?...