Soccer Page 494 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Today In The Premiership...
• Fulham 1-1 Tottenham. American Clint Dempsey saw his first action for Fulham today, coming off the bench in the 81st minute and... well, I don't think he did much of anything. He's listed in the match report as "Clinton Dempsey," which I think shows a lack of international respect for his gangsta ...
This Vagenas Is The Only One Not Looking Forward To Beckham's Entry
Not everyone in Los Angeles is thrilled about the impending arrival of David Beckham. Galaxy midfielder Peter Vagenas is feeling a little bit chafed and irritated, and I think his frustration might have something to do with the fact that Beckham will be earning roughly 500 times what Vagenas takes i...
Noble Is The Player Who Strives To Find a Bargain Toilet Seat
Fortunately, soccer fans in England aren't the type to heckle a guy over something like this:...
This Week In Soccer: At Last, Consequences For Taking A Dive
Marco Borriello is a soccer player for Milan who recently failed a drug test following a match with Roma, but had a very interesting excuse in his defense. You've heard of accidentally testing positive for banned substances by eating a poppyseed muffin, or taking cough medicine? Well, take a look at...
This Time, They Weren't Flopping
During a South African soccer match earlier this week, a sudden gust of wind hit the obviously shoddily constructed stadium. What happened after that is gruesome and amazing. Somebody give that sign a red card. A couple, actually....
Becks Is Welcomed By The Game
OK, we're going to need an ruling on this one. But we think what just happened is that LA rapper The Game offered to kick David Beckham's ass if he should ever see him. At least we hope that's what he said. You make the call:...
Hirshey: Still Yakking About Becks
David Hirshey writes regularly about soccer for Deadspin....
Today In The Premiership...
• Chelsea 4-0 Wigan. Jose Mourinho spent the week pissing and moaning about injuries and not getting any new signings during the transfer window. Wigan's boss Paul Jewell would like him to stuff it. "I'd love to have his problems because at the end of the day, whatever side he puts out, it will be b...
Hirshey Quickie: On Mr. Beckham
David Hirshey writes regularly about soccer for Deadspin....
End It Like Beckham
Despite our lack of Spice Girls and refusal to call anything "the loo," soccer bon vivant and World Cup slacker David Beckham has rejected Real Madrid's contract offer and is headed to our shores. Didn't we fight a war to prevent this kind of thing?...
Who Dare Oppose The Flailing Fists Of Fury?
Ah, the windmill. Once a devastating fighting maneuver featured in middle schools everywhere, it has fallen out of favor in recent years, and is now nearly extinct in the wild. The only place one can see it currently is in Popeye cartoons or Spanish soccer, the latter which recently gave us the some...
Just Pray These Aren't Already Sold Out
Good news! The new Jesus sports statues are in, still piping hot from the kiln and ready for shipping over at Catholic Shopper.com. But unlike in previous versions in which He was smack dab in the action, Our Lord and Savior seems content to kibitz from the sidelines this time, refusing to get direc...
Hirshey: Here You Go, Scousers
David Hirshey writes regularly for Deadspin about soccer....
Today In The FA Cup...
The Premiership is actually taking the weekend off, deferring to the third round of the FA Cup, a big tournament open to all the teams in England, be they a top Premiership team, or a collection of lumberjacks with a Nerf soccer ball....
Hirshey Quickie: On Zidane, Saddam And Hair
David Hirshey writes regularly for Deadspin about soccer....
Today In The Premiership...
• Chelsea 2-2 Fulham. Oh, that one hurts. Taking the draw at home against a middle-of-the-table Fulham side... I guess you suck, Chelsea. It's their second straight draw, and fourth consecutive Premiership game in which they've given up two goals (not coincidentally also the fourth straight game t...
Johnny Fontane Will Be Starting For Palermo Soon
On Christmas eve, the wife of Rino Foschi, head coach of the Palermo soccer team, opened up a pleasant-looking present that was under their Christmas tree. Inside was a severed goat's head, covered blood....
Hirshey: It Should Have Been Mourinho
David Hirshey writes regularly about soccer for Deadspin....
Today In The Premiership...
• Aston Villa 0-3 Manchester United. The win means that Manchester United will hold on to the top spot in the league, no matter what Chelsea does against Wigan this afternoon. Had United lost, Chelsea would've been able to grab the lead in the standings, which would have been sort of depressing and ...
You Can't Really Blame This One On Isiah
Here's what we love about soccer fights; no matter how heated things get, they still won't use their hands. You kick your opponent, and then run away (that part seems to be universal). Our two favorite aspects of this melee between Barcelona and Ecuador on Tuesday are the length — it seems to go on ...